Donald Trump’s Lawyer: “Trump is Being Investigated But Also, He Isn’t”

By Jacob Weindling  |  June 19, 2017 | 12:15pm
Media Features Donald Trump
Donald Trump’s Lawyer: “Trump is Being Investigated But Also, He Isn’t”

While you were out doing something better than watching the soul-sucking Sunday shows (and quite literally, anything is better), Donald Trump’s lawyer was making the rounds—seemingly ensuring that we all get the impression that the competence of Donald Trump’s legal defense matches that of Donald Trump. Fox News anchor Chris Wallace seized on a mistake made by Trump lawyer Jay Sekulow, and dunked on him using his own words. This clip is the definition of lunacy.

In case you missed that, here is what Donald Trump’s lawyer said (emphasis mine).

”The president takes action based on numerous events including recommendations from his attorney general and the deputy attorney general’s office. He takes the action that they also by the way, recommended, and now he’s being investigated by the Department of Justice. Cuz the special counsel under the special counsel regulations reports still to the Department of Justice—not an independent counsel. So he’s being investigated for taking the action that the attorney general and deputy attorney general recommended him to take by the agency who recommended the termination.”

After Chris Wallace pointed out that he just said Donald Trump is under investigation (twice), Sekulow clapped back with this pathetic response (emphasis mine).

”No Chris, I said that the inve—any…let me be crystal clear so you completely understand. We have not received nor are we aware of any investigation of the president of the United States.

Sekulow is so certain that Trump is under investigation that even when he’s trying to do damage control over two Freudian slips that confirm Trump is under investigation, Sekulow releases another Freudian slip, beginning to reference the inves…never mind…I didn’t say investigation, YOU said investigation…the Washington Post said investigation…I didn’t say investigation…EVERYONE SAID INVESTIGATION BUT ME DAMNIT!!!!

Now, to be fair, Jay Sekulow has an impossible job. He must convince the entire world that the story printed in The Washington Post that alleges Donald Trump is under investigation for obstruction of justice is false, all while the half-wit that he’s representing is tweeting shit like this.

Chris Wallace was not the only anchor to dunk on Trump’s lawyer this weekend, as Jake Tapper questioned Sekulow about Trump’s tweet.

Act III of this play concluded this morning—as Trump woke up and plugged Sekulow’s latest appearance on state-run media before having some second thoughts.

Got all that folks? Even though the president and his lawyer both said that Donald Trump is under investigation, he is not under investigation, and they were simply addressing the “illegal and fake” Washington Post story—even though if the leak was fake, by definition, it cannot be illegal. This is complete and utter madness. I keep saying that we are governed by a Boy King, but even adolescent boys aren’t dumb enough to expose themselves to such an obvious contradiction. Even though we are watching the collapse of American democracy play out in real time, make sure that you take time to enjoy the hilarity of Team Trump’s incompetence, otherwise we’ll all go insane (if we haven’t already).

Jacob Weindling is a staff writer for Paste politics. Follow him on Twitter at @Jakeweindling.

 
Join the discussion...