Behold the Full Range of Hollywood Roles for Women with Natalie Walker’s “Audition Tapes”

Chuckle and despair.

By Michael Burgin  |  July 24, 2018 | 8:55pm
Movies Features Natalie Walker
Behold the Full Range of Hollywood Roles for Women with Natalie Walker’s “Audition Tapes”

I don’t know much about Natalie Walker—nearly anything other that what is visually evident (two eyes, hair!) or written in her Twitter bio (performer / writer / “madeline kahn’s phantom limb” – jeremy yaddaw / [email protected]).

And sure, I could visit Walker’s website and otherwise spend time getting a sense of her purpose in life, her unique comic stylings, but that would delay me posting her audition videos and depressingly accurate take on the range of options available for actresses in movies these days. (I could just like and retweet the tweets, but ::takes a look at follower count:: that would not be helpful.)

So instead, let’s just take it all in, together, starting with a real crowd pleaser for Hollywood scriptwriters …

lady who is married to the great white man who is solving racism forever all by himself

And then there’s…

lady we hate because she is temporarily keepin the people w the symmetrical faces from bein together

She’s the worst!

I feel like this role really had a renaissance a few years ago:

lady who is sort of there while men who have names are doing a very important war

And that stalwart of many a movie featuring (but not starring) Rob Schneider…

lady not cute enough to be leading lady but still 2 cute 2 end up w leading man’s gross BFF

Gravity. Thor’s hammer. Vaguely dissatisfied white men. For one of these, only eccentricity will do…

lady who shakes vaguely dissatisfied white man out of malaise w her accessible eccentricity

And let’s never forget the classic:

lady w a British accent who grabs the man she loves forcefully by the shoulders & tells him he is extraordinary

Just ponder the journey this character undergoes! (Or, be distracted by “Sinister Paddington.”)

lady who loves social mores and takes huge journey from droll bemusement to vague annoyance

Finally, can someone get Natalie Walker a Star War? (All the Star War?)

brunette lady w British accent who is confused, skeptical, or extremely passionate about The Force

 
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