Bill O’Reilly Debuts 30-Minute Online News Show

Despite widespread pleas for him to disappear from the public eye, Bill O’Reilly is back, baby. His team has revamped his website (probably because we made fun of its original format) to debut an all-new 30-minute news show that gives us O’Reilly’s take on politics in the time in takes to make a Rachel Ray meal.

Don’t bother trying to “do it live” unless you want to fork over your money to O’Reilly’s cause, because “No Spin News” is available for “premium members” to stream first, before the rest of society can watch it the following day. It makes sense, considering the money has to come from somewhere and he can’t be making that much from his “history” books. O’Reilly said in a previous statement that his web show seeks to join forces with another network to “rival” Fox News, his former employer, which has received an unprecedented endorsement from the president himself.

His first 30-minute segment was classic Bill, with his “no spin” take on the news unsurprisingly full of right-winged rhetoric. He suggested that Colin Kaepernick is a “distraction” is “is not worth” signing to an NFL team and that Trump sees the world, “like Dick Cheney,” split into “good and evil.”

“President Trump is getting across that he is crazy enough to do something [about North Korea],” O’Reilly says of Trump’s inflammatory comments about the country. Who isn’t hyped about the possibility of a nuclear war between two narcissistic madmen? Bill O’Reilly certainly is.

O’Reilly was supposed to just fizzle out after getting ousted from Fox News, but he won’t stop broadcasting his unwanted opinions. The worst part is that some people are earnestly listening.

In case you hate yourself, O’Reilly’s first episode is now available to the non-paying public here.