Прощай is Russian for Goodbye — Paul Manafort “Resigns” From Trump Campaign

Paul Manafort, Donald Trump’s campaign chairman, has “”resigned his post. Part of the problem was his failure to keep Trump “on message,” which is like asking a rat on adrenaline to color within the lines. A bigger part of the problem was that pesky NYTimes report that pegged him as a very well-paid Russian propagandist. Here was Trump’s statement:

“This morning Paul Manafort offered, and I accepted, his resignation from the campaign. I am very appreciative for his great work in helping to get us where we are today, and in particular his work guiding us through the delegate and convention process. Paul is a true professional and I wish him the greatest success.”

Here’s how I imagine that exchange going:

Trump: Offer me your resignation.

Manafort: Look, Donald, let’s talk about—

Trump: Offer me your resignation.

Manafort: That Ukraine stuff will go away, I swear, just—

Trump: Offer me your resignation.

Manafort: But—

Trump: Offer me your resignation.

(long moments pass)

Manafort: Okay, I offer you my resignation.

Trump: Offer me your resignation.

Manafort: I just—

Trump: I accept.

Of course, none of this was a surprise following yesterday’s campaign “shake-up” that resulted in brand new campaign executives. The only real shock is that Manafort’s head wasn’t delivered on a platter even sooner.

Speaking to FoxNews, Eric Trump had this to say: “I think my father didn’t want to be, you know, distracted by whatever things Paul was dealing with.”

Yeah, this resignation was totally Manafort’s idea. The question now is how long the latest crop of top dogs will last—it does not seem like the world’s most secure position.

Note: Title translation done via Google, not confirmed with actual Russians.