11 Wonderful Gene Belcher Quotes To Live By

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11 Wonderful Gene Belcher Quotes To Live By

Bob’s Burgers has managed to carve out a unique place in TV’s comedic landscape. The Fox hit about a man, his family and the quirky shenanigans that befall their (barely afloat) burger joint is now in its sixth season. You can easily attribute the show’s continued success to its obscure sense of humor, infallible continuity and trademark characters. That includes middle child Gene Belcher, a boy prone to poop jokes, bizarre obsessions and a penchant for botching common phrases. Gene’s finest quality, though, is his refusal to be anything but himself—an unapologetic confidence that serves as the foundation for some of the animated show’s best one-liners. Here are some our favorites.

1. On Backside Appreciation

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“You’ll take the butts you’re given and you’ll like it!”

Tina Belcher is known for having a fine appreciation of a good butt, but sometimes her tastes are more than refined. They’re downright discriminatory. We can’t always get the best things in life. Sometimes we have to learn to appreciate what we can get. Even if that means settling for a half-decent butt.

2. On Eating Our Emotions

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“I’ve eaten nine birthday cakes and I still feel empty.”

It’s easy to confuse our stomachs with our hearts, mainly because they’re both inside our body. This is probably why so many of us, including Gene, try to eat our way out of feeling. But sometimes there’s simply no amount of anything—not even birthday cake—to fill whatever hole has been left in our hearts.

3. On People Owing Us Their Lives

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“No, thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not impressed.”

It always feels rewarding to hear someone tell you how much they appreciate you. More so endearing when it produces feelings of gratitude so deep they feel like they owe you their life. But sometimes a hug is good enough when the alternative is getting a life you wouldn’t want—even if it was the last one on Earth.

4. On Where Our Hands Have Been

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“You should know when you hold hands with me, you are holding hands with everything I’ve ever eaten.”

You might make fun of people who carry around little bottles of hand sanitizer, but when you really think about all the places your hands have been—and all the hands that have been to similar places—it’s harder to judge self-proclaimed germ freaks for their “sanitary” tendencies. Gene knows that dirt doesn’t hurt, but touching a hand that’s been close to your food’s entrance and exit holes without a washing might.

5. On Legless Reptiles

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“I’m not afraid of ghosts. I’m not afraid of sharks. I’m not afraid of cancer. I’m just afraid of snakes! They really creep me out. Where are their arms and legs? It’s really not okay!”

Some of us have nightmares about clowns. Others get goosebumps thinking about sloth fur algae. Gene’s biggest fear is snakes and while it might not immediately hit us as to why they’re so weird, it becomes painfully obvious—after he sings about their lack of limbs—just what a freakish anomaly they are in the animal kingdom.

6. On Having Two Left Feet

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“What kind of God would give you those legs and no rhythm?”

There’s always that one person at the party that you see from across the room and their beauty makes the world feel like the world has stopped spinning. They’re out of your league, you tell yourself. They’d never be interested in you. And then God allows you to bear witness to their dance skills and you suddenly realize that there’s such a thing as cosmic balance.

7. On Fanfiction

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“You should do one with the janitor and the principal. Their babies would be beautiful.”

Tina is the epitome of the modern teen girl, and that comes with a fixation on writing fanfiction. Unlike most other boys Gene’s age, he is mildly supportive of his sister’s labors, even offering a prompt to get her fic wheels turning. It’s great to see a boy express interest in the process of character appreciation. More so, who among us hasn’t thought—about two random people—”their babies would be beautiful”?

8. On Understanding Technology

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“Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!”

Though one of the silliest things Gene has ever said, it’s actually one of the most factually accurate, too. We live in a tech age, where numbers can combine to create artificial intelligence twitter bots and drones. But let’s not pretend like we know how any of it really works. Just keep answering “science” when people ask you about it and leave the rest up to the robots.

9. On Our Relationship With Supermarket Seafood

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“Let’s release the lobster back into the supermarket whence it came from.”

It’s one thing to eat lobster meat straight out of the shell. It’s another to eat it after you’ve bonded with the living, breathing version straight from the tank at the local grocery store. Gene is the voice for those of us who’ve though, at least once, about executing a Free The Market Lobsters mission.

10. On Having A “Dominant” Personality

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Gene: I’m a top.
Bob: You mean you’re on top.
Gene: No, I’m a top.

Be like Gene Belcher, and know thyself.

11. On reading the fine print

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Bob: Didn’t you read the rules?
Gene: It was sixteen pages! I only got to the part about not wearing open-toed shoes.

We’ve all gotten that tome-like work manual that describes, in intimate detail, every aspect of our job. And we’ve all given up reading it after the second page. When are these companies going to get that we’re all just like Gene Belcher?