Netflix’s Santa Clarita Diet Probably Won’t Be Doctor-Recommended

The secret behind Netflix’s forthcoming series Santa Clarita Diet has been revealed, and we don’t know if we’re suddenly very interested or very horrified. Both? Probably both.

The first statement Netflix originally released about the show seemed kind of, well, whatever:

In Santa Clarita Diet, Joel (Timothy Olyphant, Justified) and Sheila (Drew Barrymore, Blended) are husband and wife realtors leading vaguely discontented lives in the L.A. suburb of Santa Clarita with their teenaged daughter Abby (Liv Hewson), until Sheila goes through a dramatic change sending their lives down a road of death and destruction … but in a good way.

Vaguely intriguing, in a discontented-suburban-realtor kind of way. Death and destruction sounded promising, though. Perhaps Santa Clarita Diet was going to take the drug route and be the new Weeds?

Clearly our imaginations weren’t working hard enough. In conversation with Barrymore, USA Today revealed the truth about the Santa Clarita Diet:

We can reveal that the “dramatic change” Sheila undergoes in the series opener is, in fact, death. And while they tend to their open houses and teenage daughter, the couple must sate Sheila’s unbridled id and undead hunger, first with raw meat and, eventually, the human kind.

Okay, we’re listening.