Orange is the New Black: “Mother’s Day”/“Bed Bugs and Beyond”
(Episode 3.01/3.02)
The third season premiere of Orange is the New Black confirmed every parent’s worst fear: if your child ends up in prison or on drugs, it’s all the mother’s fault.
Caputo’s in charge and he’s trying to create a kinder, gentler Litchfield. He throws a carnival (well the saddest, most pathetic carnival ever) for all the inmates and their children. In flashbacks we get snippets of the inmates with their children, or flashbacks to their own childhood. It was a toss-up for which one was most depressing—Nicky’s wealthy mother ignoring her daughter’s homemade card or Pennsatucky’s mom plying her daughter with gallons of Mountain Dew to get more money from the state. Only Poussey seemed to have a nice mom, but she died and therefore Poussey’s current predicament is still ALL THE MOTHER’S FAULT.
Even worse, the next generation of children are doomed. I mean the mother who smuggled drugs in via her baby’s diaper and then left her baby on the ground while she snorted the drugs in the port-a-potty?
“Mother’s Day” was a great juxtaposition to the second season opener. That episode was all about Piper, but Piper didn’t even show up until 12 minutes into this premiere. The show efficiently updates viewers on the results of last season’s finale. Vee is dead (although poor Crazy Eyes is still in utter denial about this fact). Pennsatucky is now driving a brand new van. A still-recovering Red has turned over a new leaf and closes up her smuggling tunnel. Caputo, who has managed to remain in charge, has hired a new counselor.
The show is truly an ensemble, and thank goodness because Piper becomes a more annoying character with every passing episode. Now a devastated Alex has returned to Litchfield. “How could I have let myself get back here,” she wonders. Of course, it’s Piper’s fault that Alex is back, since Piper had Larry call Alex’s parole officer and report her. Piper finally confesses this to Alex in “Bed Bugs and Beyond” and the two are having angry sex by the end of the second episode. My problem with watching them is that they are both just awful to each other. Alex has betrayed Piper. Piper has betrayed Alex. Their relationship is beyond dysfunctional and at this point, it’s pretty unpleasant to watch. I’m with Red—Piper has to stop buying into her own horseshit.
Mary Steenburgen guests as Pornstache’s wealthy mother. She wants to adopt Daya’s baby and Aleida shakes her down for money. But Bennett has bigger plans. He doesn’t want the woman who raised a “drug dealing rapist named Pornstache” raising their child. He proposes to Daya with an engagement ring made of gum wrappers. He promises her they’ll have a wonderful life together once she’s out of prison.