For every person who loves to say nom nom, there’s a person who cringes at its utterance. Your high school English teacher, most likely.
Like your English teacher, we fun-spoilers here at Paste Food have had enough, and decided to don the hats of both the Language Police and the Food Police. Here are the words we heavily suggest you either eliminate from your vocabulary, or to limit to very special occasions. While this proclamation will change nothing in the long run, it makes us feel a little bit better right now. (Full disclosure: some of the words below have appeared, on purpose, in articles right here on Paste Food. We are guilty, too.)
Gourmand
This word is a great word that’s almost always misused as an exact synonym for “gourmet”, but its real meaning is closer to “glutton-gourmet.” A gourmand fancies fine food, tends to overindulge, and is totally comfortable with it. We suggest putting gourmand into semi-retirement and deploying it for those times when it’s irresistibly spot-on.
Nom Nom, and all variations thereof
Cookie Monster can get away with it, because he did it first. Also, Cookie Monster does not have a food blog. You are an adult human, not a Muppet.
As Paste’s food editor, I’ve let a few noms slip by, but no longer! Uh, unless we’re discussing one of the most successful cooking blogs around right now. The name of that site includes the n-o-m word not once, but twice, and this makes me hesitate in unleashing my bile on a silly scrap of baby talk. But only for a few seconds.
Sammies
This is the kind of nickname you give a cat or a dog, but not a food item. Za and nana also fall into this category. What they really mean is “I cannot be taken seriously.”
Hipster
Rarely do we hear this word delivered without traces of venom, or without accompanying words like kale, Instagram, quinoa, pork butchery diagram tattoo, and/or food truck. The hipster archetype is self-involved and superficial and either living in Brooklyn or dreaming of it.
Hipsters have very specific—and sometimes precious—attitudes about cooking and dining, and they come up a lot in discussions about food. I’ve noticed that the people most likely to hate on hipsters are also the most likely to exhibit hipster tendencies themselves. We’re all sick of hearing about hipsters, so let’s agree to stop talking about them, particularly in the context of food. Problem solved.
Drool, drool-worthy
It’s evocative of dogs and lecherous men, or of teething babies.
On-Trend
Food trends are legitimate and important, and it can be unwise to take them seriously. But don’t use “on-trend” unless you want to sound like you’re in sales. Maybe it’s just because I’ve deleted one too many really off-base press releases from my inbox, but “on-trend” smacks of PR jargon. It’s not enticing.
Artisan
A copy editor would probably prefer to swap this with “artisanal.” An artisan is a craftsperson; the product they make (cheese, chocolate, and, according to McDonald’s, a fast-food sandwich) is artisanal. Good grammar aside, does this word even mean anything anymore? If you can get Artisan Pizza at Domino’s, what’s a true food artisan to do?