Ranking the Best (and Worst) Halloween Candy

Food Features Halloween Candy
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Ranking the Best (and Worst) Halloween Candy

The month of Halloween is in full swing, and you know what that means — variety packs of mini chocolate bars, bags of candy corn and pumpkin-shaped Reese’s cups crowd every supermarket, begging you to take home pounds of saccharine treats. The almighty voice of consumerism has spoken, and this is the message: it’s time to gorge on candy.

Whether you’re giving it out to trick-or-treaters or keeping it for yourself, you deserve to experience only the best fun-size candy this October. That’s why a group of Paste contributors braved stomaches to determine which Halloween candy was the best of all.

Because it’s unfair to compare a Kit Kat bar to a Starburst piece, we’ve divided the candy into two categories. First, we’re getting to the chocolate:

Chocolate Division

10. Almond Joy
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Score: 20
“Almond and coconut team up to ruin chocolate,” one taster noted. Another asserted that the coconut mush wasn’t food, and yet another felt the filling tasted a bit off.

9. Charleston Chews
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Score: 37
These classic candies smell like diabetes and taste like sugar with no flavor — or, as one taster noted, like chocolate-covered wet paper.

8. Hershey’s Milk Chocolate
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Score: 54
The consensus on Hershey’s is divided, ranging from “cheapo American chocolate” to “hardly chocolate.” Turn it into a s’more instead.

7. Tootsie Rolls
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Score: 65
Tootsie Rolls lost points for their fecal exterior and weird hybrid texture. Critics were divided on the taste.

6. Three Musketeers
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Score: 73
One taster loved the airiness of the whipped nougat while others thought the chocolate and filler were mediocre. Additionally, the commercials still make us feel like eating a Three Musketeers isn’t that guilty.

5. Snickers
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Score: 83
The peanuts in Snickers bars are a great source of protein, which means less guilt. It also means less fun.

4. Twix
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Score: 85
Twix was referred to as both Kit Kat’s cool older brother and like something Keebler elves would make. However, you can’t argue with that mixture of caramel and cookie crunch. Also, you have not lived if you’ve never tried Twix’s ice cream interpretation.

3. Junior Mints
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Score: 86
Junior Mints taste great and make your mouth feel clean. We just wish they’d last longer.

2. Kit Kat Bars
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Score: 91
Kit Kat’s wafers won all the tasters over with a texture that’s crunchy, perfectly light and crispy and a chocolate border that isn’t too thick.

1. Reese’s Cups
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Score: 93
Sweetened peanut butter and chocolate team up to create perfection that’s only slightly marred by a tendency to melt.

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