8 Halloween-Themed Chick Tracts to “Chick Out” This Halloweekend

Jack Chick, who died this past Sunday, devoted his life to the writing, illustration and publication of religious cartoons known as Chick Tracts. He hated Catholicism, evolution, homosexuality and bibles that weren’t the King James version. His publication house, Chick Publications, has supposedly published as many as 800 million copies of his tracts. It has also been designated a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center

So, okay, Chick Tracts may not exactly be comedy, but they are unique comic artifacts, lenses into an exceptionally strange and paranoid mind. And many of them are about Halloween. Here are eight of the weirdest:

8. The Little Princess

At the beginning of this tract, a dying girl makes her final wish: to go trick-or-treating on Halloween. Then, at the end, she dies. But it’s okay, because she accepted Christ into her heart and went to heaven! Tremendous.

7. The Nervous Witch

This tract features a witch named Samantha, suggesting that Chick perhaps watched, or was at least peripherally aware of, the seminal sitcom Bewitched. It also contains the line “Witches rule! God is dead and the churches are powerless. Old ‘Bible boy’ won’t stand a chance against our black arts.” Nice.

6. Satan Comes To Salem

Ostensibly about the Salem witch trials (fun!), this tract ends up being a screed against the Roman Catholic Church (eh!), one of Chick’s favorite targets.

5. Crazy Wolf

This tract is all kinds of problematic! Like, so obviously offensive that it’s shocking even in the context of Chick’s very offensive canon! And it was published in 2010??? Anyway.

4. Boo!

Ever the futurologist, Chick foresaw the viral potential of a pumpkin-themed mischief-maker a full fifteen years before SNL debuted David S. Pumpkins.

3. Spooky!

The lesson of this tract is that if you think Halloween is scary, then you best not get sent to hell, because it’s even MORE scary. Also funny: The bit where the Devil gets “furious” when he finds out that God had the sheer GALL to bring baby Jesus into the world.

2. The Walking Dead?

This tract may not make any sense, but at least it makes more sense than the TV show.

1. Stinky

This amazing tract is about a cute little demon rat named Stinky and it’s perfect. There is nothing wrong with it. Also there’s a cowboy at the end? Or maybe it’s a kid dressed as a cowboy. Hard to say. Point is, if you sin, ask Jesus for forgiveness and everything will be okay. Happy Halloween, sinners!!