Hollywooddid some Oscars again tonight, and all the movies you either loved or hated won every award. Here’s the list! Definitely a lot of movies this year, some of which won some awards, both ones that were deserved and undeserved. It was an Oscars kinda show!
As the night slowly rolled into the next morning, and Jimmy Kimmelappeared on screen less and less frequently (he almost kinda disappeared after marching some stars into a movie theater across the street from the Oscars, where Gal Gadot and Margot Robbie gave the common folks Milk Duds, and Armie Hammer and Ansel Elgort pelted them with hot dogs), the importance of two crucial Oscars aids grew more apparent. Those are booze and Twitter, of course. The best drinks of the 2018 Oscars included bourbon and spicy ginger ale, Creature Comforts’ Koko Buni milk porter, and Pabst Blue Ribbon (the Eva Marie Saint of this year’s selection of Oscar drinks). The best tweets—and by best we mean funniest, as we are a comedy section, concerned pretty much exclusively with comedy and the people who make it and the business that has grown around it—are in a tidy little list below. Go ahead, scroll through ‘em, and relive the endless awards show that you were desperate to immediately forget. The jokes are good. You don’t even need any PBRs to enjoy ‘em.
Excited to judge celebrities for every nervous mistake on stage while eating soup with my hands alone in a darkened room
No matter what disappointments you may feel after tonight’s ceremony, let’s all take solace in the fact that Downsizing was shutout completely and we won’t have to hear it lovingly recapped at any point. #Oscars
The Oscars is like going to see live music, in that the show is like 4 hours long and you have to wait forever to get to the band you came to see. #oscars
Trivia: Gary Oldmandid not know he was filming a movie when he played Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour, he thought he was auditioning for the new MadTV.
I love that jimmy Kimmelwas like “by the way we’re only looking for stars to join us on this trip to the Chinese theater” thereby causing everyone in that room to question if they were actually a star. #oscars
One minute you’re watching a movie, the next minute Jimmy Kimmelputs you on the spot in front of millions of people and makes you Adele Dazeem the shit out of somebody’s name.
We don’t want these Oscars to run long so speed up those speeches! (1 hour later) Okay for this next bit I need 37 volunteers to bicycle with me to New Mexico
would your rather be included in the In Memoriam and have the least amount of clapping of the other recently dead people or be the person everybody was the angriest about being excluded from the In Memoriam? #Oscars90