Uhhhhh yeah I’m not gonna lie: I didn’t watch too much of the vice presidential debate tonight. I was watching something that was far smarter, more empathetic, and more respectful of its audience: professional wrestling. Tonight All Elite Wrestling celebrated Chris Jericho’s 30 years as a pro wrestler with one hell of a show, including the first major dog collar match since Roddy Piper and Greg Valentine went at it back at Starrcade ‘83. It was a great show.
I gather the debate wasn’t that great, unless you like making jokes about flies. Harris and Pence went at each other in the expected way—one side with facts and precision, the other with distractions and prevarications. I’m not going to get any more specific than that yet, because I need you to stay on this page just a little bit longer for economic purposes. It’s like when cops try to keep the bad guy on the line long enough to trace the phone line, only with ad impressions.
As disgusting, despicable, and dispiriting as every single last thing connected to politics is these days, there’s still room to tell some damn jokes. And that’s what people did during tonight’s debate. They told jokes—and by “told” I mean “typed them into their phones.” Here are the funniest tweets about tonight’s VP debate between Kamala Harris and Mike Pence, and no, not all of them are about that fly. Only, like, 80% of ‘em.