The Funniest Republican National Convention Tweets, Night Two

The RNC is back, baby! And way more subdued than last night.

Yes, after the seemingly coked out extravaganza that was night one, the Republican National Convention reconvened in a slightly more stately manor. Yeah, it was just as full of lies, fake outrage, and unhinged Trump hagiography, but without the manic screaming or watery eyes. Either the RNC has settled down or else it’s just learned how to handle its shit.

Tonight’s list of speakers was a powerhouse lineup of accomplished and astute statespeople who only have America’s best interests at heart. Like Eric Trump! And Tiffany Trump. And Melania Trump. Oh, there was also anti-abortion activist Abby Johnson, who might not be telling the truth about her departure from Planned Parenthood over a decade ago, and who once said that cops would be “smart” to profile her adopted biracial son, because “statistically” he’s “more likely to commit a violent offense over [her] white sons.” So, you know, good people across the board, whose thoughts and opinions are vital for America to hear during a pandemic and the worst unemployment crisis since the Depression.

On the surface tonight’s installment of the RNC wasn’t nearly as easy to mock as last night’s. It’s still politics, though, and specifically the Republican Party in the age of Trump, so there was still a lot to make fun of. No, it doesn’t really make anybody feel any better about this disaster we’re living through, but it might bring a momentary bit of mental peace to somebody who needs it. So here are the funniest tweets we saw about tonight’s political nonsense; check ‘em out, follow the tweeters, and get ready to see even more of this mess tomorrow night.

Every single person that’s spoken at the RNC has eyeballs that are desperate to escape their eye sockets

— Tam Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) August 26, 2020

The speeches at the RNC just seem a little tone-deaf, considering that most Americans right now can’t even afford cocaine

— Ben Wexler (@mrbenwexler) August 25, 2020

I don’t know if Biden got a convention bump but Don Jr’s happened before he even walked onstage.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) August 25, 2020

I can’t believe people are watching the thing. It’s like you cut school to go across town to a pep rally at Nazi High

— Cullen Crawford (@HelloCullen) August 26, 2020

Donald Trump does not run away from challenges, which is just what he considers women who say “No!” #RNC2020

— Jena Friedman (@JenaFriedman) August 26, 2020

trump’s forgotten daughter, Tiffany trump, is talking now. And when she’s done, I will go back to forgetting about her.

— BrooklynDad_Defiant! (@mmpadellan) August 26, 2020

Tiffany’s message: My father has challenged the establishment by not pretending to have any decency.

— Andy Daly (@TVsAndyDaly) August 26, 2020

every RNC speaker: hello maniacs, if ur an average salt of the earth american like me then u believe in three key things: hard work, strong principles, and a president who shits on a decadent gold toilet

— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) August 26, 2020

Next up, The Lady Who Racially Profiles Her Own Son.

— Meena Harris (@meenaharris) August 26, 2020

honestly tonight’s pretty boring without the screaming

— Erin Ambassador to Woketopia Ryan (@morninggloria) August 26, 2020

The RNC is a collection of the country’s most culturally and financially powerful people complaining that people they dislike aren’t completely powerless.

— Zach Heltzel (@zachheltzel) August 26, 2020

RNC: We have nothing to stoke but fear itself.

— A.D. Miles (@80miles) August 26, 2020

Every part of the Trump administration, but Pompeo’s speech at the RNC especially, is like listening to an eight-year-old’s an idea of what a country is.

— man it’s a hot zone, (@Mobute) August 26, 2020

I think someone sold the RNC a kilo of baking soda tonight

— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) August 26, 2020

i feel bad for anyone who is willingly watching the RNC. meanwhile im chilling at home, watching a bad movie, bashing my head into a wall until i pass out, just vibing

— TORMABLAS PICKASDFJKLFDSNMKOFDSJ (@Tormny_Pickeals) August 26, 2020

Watching #RNC2020 is like having the They Live glasses permanently bolted onto your head.

— ben schwartz (@benschwartz_) August 26, 2020

it’d be both funny and an example of good narrative payoff if tomorrow night Trump used the RNC to officiate a wedding on a boat

— ‘Weird Alex’ Pareene (@pareene) August 26, 2020

first melania stole michelle’s speech now she’s stealing melo’s looks smh pic.twitter.com/ko6vHYrWsT

— Desus Nice (@desusnice) August 26, 2020

I like the taped location segments the best—the gun- toting St. Louis racists in their mansion last night, Mike Pence in frontierland tonight— because they’re the most like parodies.

— Kurt Andersen (@KBAndersen) August 26, 2020

I don’t want to say Melania’s speech went long but when it was over the MAGA cap kid was wearing a fishing hat. A fishing hat. Which tends to be worn by old men. Long speech. We have a great show tonight, Michael Landon, Brooke Shields and comedian Bob Nelson, back after this!

— James Urbaniak (@JamesUrbaniak) August 26, 2020

Melania is often described as useless but please give the woman credit for being racist.

— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) August 26, 2020

The one thing Melania will ALWAYS have over Donald is that she can read.

— Michelle Collins (@michcoll) August 26, 2020

The Melania Trump Memorial COVID Garden pic.twitter.com/5PCl5PY2QP

— shauna (@goldengateblond) August 26, 2020

“Vote for my stupid piece of shit dad,” says one of Trump’s stupid piece of shit kids

— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) August 26, 2020