The Funniest Tweets About Trump’s State of the Union Address
Photos courtesy of Getty Images
No long-winded preamble this time. Donald Trump, a rat colony in a man suit, read Stephen Miller’s speech off a screen tonight, in front of a Congress that is either totally over his bullshit or totally still cool with riding that bullshit in hopes of getting even more tax cuts out of it. Trump was Trump: a braggart and a blowhard who thinks he can get his way by disrespecting his opponents into submission. Oh, and he’s racist, too. Don’t forget that part.
Look, if you watched this thing, you knew what you were getting into. An asshole was going to say hateful stuff that got applause from a bunch of other assholes, and the non-assholes in the room were going to be limited to symbolic actions like not applauding and wearing all white. The State of the Union is a pointless spectacle full of empty bluster aimed squarely at a president’s base, and the only worthwhile reaction to it in 2019 is to simply mock the hell out of the way. Trump deserves no respect, and the State of the Union deserves no respect, so let’s just use Twitter to give ‘em all the disrespect they richly deserve.
Here are the funniest tweets we could scrounge up about this farce. Go ahead and follow all the folks who wrote ‘em—the only thing Twitter is good for are some grim chuckles amid the slow dismantling of human life, and these folks can dish ‘em up but good.
Oh yeah: that kid asleep in the photo above is Joshua Trump (no relation). He was one of the president’s guests of honor tonight, invited because he was being bullied because of his last name. I don’t know (or care) if he has any political beliefs at all (hopefully he’s still pure and innocent), but I can guarantee you that every person in that room, and every person watching or listening to Trump’s speech, wanted to do exactly what Joshua was doing when that photo was taken.
Okay, joke time.
At tonight’s State of the Union address, Nancy Pelosi will sit behind Donald Trump and attempt to break the record for longest continuous eye roll. #SOTU
— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) February 6, 2019
We are all waiting for this.#SOTUpic.twitter.com/l1LqCamZ7r
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) February 6, 2019
finally, a chance to hear the President’s opinions!!! #SOTU
— Alex Schmidt (@AlexSchmidty) February 5, 2019
Transcript of the beginning of Trump’s #SOTU:
“I see a lot of haters and losers here, Cryin’ Chuck Schumer, Pocahontas, Crazy Maxine Waters, little Adam Schitt…
Anyway, let’s have some unity.”
— Nick Jack Pappas (@Pappiness) February 5, 2019
Tonight is probably our best chance to see a President Of The United States literally poop his pants during the State Of The Union and I just hope we all appreciate that.
— Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) February 5, 2019
trump is trying hard for UNITY but he hasn’t offered anyone cold fast food yet so he clearly doesn’t mean it
— maura quint (@behindyourback) February 6, 2019
Can’t believe Trump’s invited guest was Fuck Jerry.
— Desi (@DesiJed) February 6, 2019
This is not a respectful way to talk about the State of the Union, Jason.
— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) February 6, 2019
Super excited to celebrate President Trump’s third State Of The Union address by shooting myself in the fucking head!
— Dumb Idiot Riley Fox (@riley_fox) February 6, 2019
What if Trump started trying to sell steaks to these representatives as he makes his way down to the podium.
— Jon Wurster (@jonwurster) February 6, 2019
The thing about Trump is that he’s so dumb and lies so much that there’s no point in knowing anything he says unless it’s funny. Don’t even carry it live. Put it on Seeso. Unless somebody hacked the prompter with the “milk milk lemonade poem” ain’t shit happening tonight
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) February 6, 2019