The 75 Best Twitter Accounts of 2015

10. George Wallace—@MrGeorgeWallace
Twitter Bio: The Official George Wallace Twitter. Trying to serve it up with hot sauce for you. God bless.
Best Recent Tweet: I’ll straight up eat breakfast while watchin’ Dinner for Schmucks and eat dinner while watchin’ Breakfast Club I don’t give a shit anymore.
Runner-Up: I’m sick as hell of folks watchin’ me whip but then lookin’ away when I nae nae.

9. Jake Weisman—@weismanjake
Twitter Bio: Comedian, Diva – Email me at [email protected]
Best Recent Tweet: Whenever someone describes themselves as a free thinker in their Twitter bio, it’s like, watch out world, we are about to hear some stuff
Runner-Up: Attention porn stars: Thank you. You give so much to so many people. I am sorry people are mean to you when you make them cum consistently.

8. Alison Stevenson—@JustAboutGlad
Twitter Bio: Female Comedienne & Girl Writer http://www.vice.com/series/girl-writer …
Best Recent Tweet: I identify as a health goth who is on her cheat day every day
Runner-Up: I’m TOO GOOD at coming

7. Joe Mande—@joemande
Twitter Bio: twitter is trash and facebook’s the devil i bought a million followers for like $400 none of this shit matters antarctica is melting
Best Recent Tweet: the movie Joy except about the shamwow guy
Runner-Up: what good is the Internet if you can’t find out how many times they say the words “Pootie Tang” in the movie Pootie Tang

6. Demi Adejuyigbe—@electrolemon
Twitter Bio: like idris elba, but from a distance with your glasses off and you don’t remember what he looks like too good (@midnight /@gilmoreguysshow / writer)
Best Recent Tweet: STAR WARS SPOILER: ok now that the nerds stopped reading, my parents are outta town and i’m throwin a party. my brother’s gonna buy us beer
Runner-Up: every time i say “michael b. jordan” i lean in and pronounce it the way a def jam comic says “women be shoppin”

5. Dana Schwartz—@DanaSchwartzzz
Twitter Bio: Writer for things. See also:@GuyInYourMFA, @DystopianYA. Email [email protected]
Best Recent Tweet: My phone autocorrects “Dana” to “xanax” which is some low key shade from my phone that I do not appreciate
Runner-Up: ok but bernie, if everyone gets a college education it’s going to be that much harder for me to feel superior to people, did u think of that

4. Josh Androsky—@ShutUpAndrosky
Twitter Bio: xXx PROUD member of the media xXx wrote for billy on the street+spongebob, appeared on this american life http://www.whatisbenghazi.com @babe__island
Best Recent Tweet: a great way to get away with farting in front of your new boyfriend’s family is to say you were “visited by the ghost of christmas ass.”
Runner-Up: THE ONLY HGH PEYTON MANNING EVER HAD WAS PAPA JOHN’S HAWAIIAN GARLIC HAM PIZZA.

3. Bridger Winegar—@bridger_w
Twitter Bio: Here we are on our third date
Best Recent Tweet: I don’t get depressed around the holidays, but I do stay depressed
Runner-Up: For me, nothing is as relaxing as getting behind the wheel, turning the stereo to full volume, and trying to find an address

2. Daniel Kibblesmith—@kibblesmith
Twitter Bio: Writer, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert; Comics; Co-Author of Humor Book HOW TO WIN AT EVERYTHING: http://bit.ly/howtowinbook
Best Recent Tweet: “Good news Mr. Kibblesmith, you have been approved for an Eastern European mail-order bride.”

[I lower my sunglasses]

“Czech Mate.”
Runner-Up: What if you were on a desert island and you looked at your friend and he looked like a big hot pocket you’d have to think long and hard

1. Josh Gondelman—@joshgondelman
Twitter Bio: Writer, @LastWeekTonight With John Oliver. Co-author, @SeinfeldToday. Also co-author of a book you can buy RIGHT NOW: http://bit.ly/1MRmRYU
Best Recent Tweet: The thing I miss about underage drinking is there were no snobs. No one showed up to the woods and was like: “What kind of IPA do you have?”
Runner-Up: Imagine getting a sex talk from Prince. It’d sound like very tender auto maintenance or outer space agriculture.