I’m a simple man, so all I really need to enjoy my beer, is the beer itself. Unless I’m drinking some fancy saison with a lot of French writing on the label, I don’t even use a glass most of the time. I’d like to think most beer drinkers are in the same boat, and yet there’s a blossoming beer gadget market out there full of ridiculous contraptions meant to enhance the experience surrounding the world’s greatest beverage. We found seven different contraptions that are either totally ridiculous or totally awesome. You decide.
It looks like a latte you got from that trendy coffee shop downtown, but behold—it’s actually a “beard” for your beer. Not only does the Lolo Lid keep your beer on the “low low,” it acts as a koozie as well. Because sometimes you want to drink a beer in a place where you’re not supposed to drink a beer. Like a department-wide meeting.
There are a number of CO2 injection systems for growlers on the market right now, but few are as streamlined and simple as Billet’s CO2 Mini Beer Tap. The CO2 cartridge fits into the tap handle, keeping moving parts to a minimum. This little system allows you to put a tap on a growler to keep your beer carbonated and fresh for longer.
It ain’t cheap, but come on. The thing glows. Surely you can find an extra couple of grand lying around the house for this thing. The table comes with automatic ball dryers and “cup sensing RGB pods.” I don’t know what that is, but I want it. And wait, there’s more. How about a VU meter module that times the lights to dim and brighten to the beat of the music. Totally unnecessary. Totally badass.
Take your standard foam koozie and make it awesome with frozen “puck” inserts for the bottom of the koozie, to keep the beer colder for longer, and a thermometer so you know how cold your beer is. Do you really need to know the exact temperature of your beer? Probably not. But this is America. It’s not about need at this point.
Barrel aged beers are incredible. So why not make your own at home? Pour your favorite beer into the Oak Bottle and let it sit for 24 to 48 hours to impart some of that oak into your brew. You can also get the Oak Bottle with different adjuncts, like cinnamon and coffee beans. I haven’t had much luck with “age your own booze” kits in the past, but I’ve never tried it with beer, so I’m hopeful.
This one’s for the homebrewers out there, the Brewjacket Immersion is the world’s first fermentation temperature control system. Basically, it allows you to make lagers at home without taking up space in your fridge thanks to its patent pending “solid state cooling system.” I think it’s like the Flux Capacitor. Not sure if it needs plutonium or not. But I like lagers, so, yay.
You’ll find thousands of different beer bottle opener designs out there, but the Sabertooth might have an edge on all of them, especially if you’re currently in a fraternity. You can use the Sabertooth to open your bottle of beer, but you can also use it to poke a hole in the top of your can to shotgun the beer, successfully bridging the gap between high beer culture and low beer culture.