Sometimes, “innovation” goes too far. Case in point: Oreos. They first started out beautifully simple, just two chocolate cookies bound together with a sugary white filling. But then, the creators of the iconic cookie started going off the rails. There was the Golden Chocolate Oreo, which featured vanilla cookies with a layer of soft chocolate filling in the middle. It’s not really a product we needed, but it wasn’t bad. But when they started filling Oreos with peanut butter, I knew that we had gone astray as a society.
By now, Nabisco, the company that owns Oreo, has released a slew of absolutely foul flavors onto the market, some of which are undoubtedly more about shock value than they are about actual flavor. I’ve compiled some of the worst offenders in the cookie brand’s history. If you’re like me, you’ll avoid these monstrosities at all costs. Maybe, though, if you’re feeling brave (or you just need to feel something, anything at all), you’ll give some of them a try.
1. Peanut Butter
I already mentioned that I hate peanut butter-filled Oreos, but it deserves to be said again. It seems like an American urge to slather peanut butter on just about any sweet food on a grocery store aisle and deem it delicious. But peanut butter is not delicious when it’s sandwiched between two chocolate cookies—this is not a Reese’s.
2. Lemon
Lemon-flavored desserts can be delicious, which is why I decided to try lemon-flavored Oreos one day. I thought they couldn’t be too bad. Surely, they would keep the flavors light and subtle, right? Apparently not. Despite the undeniably lemon-y flavor of this cookie, it’s unbearable sweetness, not tartness, is what shines through. I genuinely don’t know how you could eat a whole one.
3. Caramel Apple
If you think you’re getting an actual caramel-covered Oreo when you buy this abomination of a dessert, you’re going to be disappointed. Instead, the center of these vanilla cookies is filled with a bizarre brown and bright green sugary substance. It looks, frankly, disgusting, and the flavor isn’t too far off, either. No amount of fall nostalgia could prompt me to buy these.
4. Jelly Donut
Admittedly, jelly donut Oreos sound like a good idea. Just imagine how good they would be if there were actually jelly inside. But, unsurprisingly, that’s not what you’re going to get with these cookies. Instead, it just has a pink, fruity-flavored “cream” in the middle, ringed by what seems like the same old white filling you see in any other Oreo recipe.