Sometimes, “innovation” goes too far. Case in point: Oreos. They first started out beautifully simple, just two chocolate cookies bound together with a sugary white filling. But then, the creators of the iconic cookie started going off the rails. There was the Golden Chocolate Oreo, which featured vanilla cookies with a layer of soft chocolate filling in the middle. It’s not really a product we needed, but it wasn’t bad. But when they started filling Oreos with peanut butter, I knew that we had gone astray as a society.
By now, Nabisco, the company that owns Oreo, has released a slew of absolutely foul flavors onto the market, some of which are undoubtedly more about shock value than they are about actual flavor. I’ve compiled some of the worst offenders in the cookie brand’s history. If you’re like me, you’ll avoid these monstrosities at all costs. Maybe, though, if you’re feeling brave (or you just need to feel something, anything at all), you’ll give some of them a try.
1. Peanut Butter
I already mentioned that I hate peanut butter-filled Oreos, but it deserves to be said again. It seems like an American urge to slather peanut butter on just about any sweet food on a grocery store aisle and deem it delicious. But peanut butter is not delicious when it’s sandwiched between two chocolate cookies—this is not a Reese’s.
2. Lemon
Lemon-flavored desserts can be delicious, which is why I decided to try lemon-flavored Oreos one day. I thought they couldn’t be too bad. Surely, they would keep the flavors light and subtle, right? Apparently not. Despite the undeniably lemon-y flavor of this cookie, it’s unbearable sweetness, not tartness, is what shines through. I genuinely don’t know how you could eat a whole one.
3. Caramel Apple
If you think you’re getting an actual caramel-covered Oreo when you buy this abomination of a dessert, you’re going to be disappointed. Instead, the center of these vanilla cookies is filled with a bizarre brown and bright green sugary substance. It looks, frankly, disgusting, and the flavor isn’t too far off, either. No amount of fall nostalgia could prompt me to buy these.
4. Jelly Donut
Admittedly, jelly donut Oreos sound like a good idea. Just imagine how good they would be if there were actually jelly inside. But, unsurprisingly, that’s not what you’re going to get with these cookies. Instead, it just has a pink, fruity-flavored “cream” in the middle, ringed by what seems like the same old white filling you see in any other Oreo recipe.
5. Kettle Corn
I feel like I shouldn’t even have to explain why kettle corn Oreos are a crime against anyone who eats. Kettle corn is the worst popcorn flavor out there. Take away the crunchy texture of actual popcorn, though, and you’re just left with a weird sugary sweetness. Why Nabisco would decide to harness that flavor just to put it into Oreo filling is beyond me, but I want no part of it.
6. Peeps
Does anybody actually like Peeps? I was certainly never excited when I found them in my Easter basket. It seems like the only reason anyone ever buys them is because of their undeniably cute appearance and their bouncy, marshmallow-y texture. But what’s the point of taking that all away and distilling the flavor into a pink filling? All you’re left with is the flavor, which is objectively the worst part of Peeps.
7. Carrot Cake
To me, carrot cake just doesn’t make much sense unless you’re trying to get more veggies into your diet and you only happen to like sweet baked goods. But even if you do like carrot cake, you probably don’t want to eat it in cookie form. Although there are certainly worse Oreo flavors on this list, carrot cake Oreos never really needed to exist.
8. Cherry Cola
It seems obvious to me that cherry cola Oreos were just a marketing stunt, because who actually wants this? The popping candy-studded filling is a nice textural touch, I guess, and it seems like the reviews weren’t as negative as I imagined they would be. Maybe I’m just a hater because I don’t like cherry Coke, but I genuinely believe that whoever came up with this idea was under the influence.
9. Watermelon
Artificial watermelon flavor is one of the most unpleasant flavors in the world, if you ask me. Why they decided to put this obscenely sweet, Jolly Rancher-like flavor into a cream-like filling between two cookies is something I’ll never understand. NBC News even claimed they were “destined to flop.”
10. Banana Split
The only thing worse than artificial watermelon flavor is artificial banana flavor, and you’re going to get plenty of it when you buy banana split Oreos. Beyond the overwhelming banana flavor, these are honestly just kind of bland.
Samantha Maxwell is a food writer and editor based in Boston. Follow her on Twitter at @samseating.