You think you know a guy, and then out comes something like this. We’ve slowly been uncovering some disturbing facts about Nintendo’s beloved mascot Mario, first that the character is no longer a plumber, but also that he has nipples. Turns out, Mario also happens to be an abuser of animals (or whatever Yoshi is), as a recent interview (in Japanese) with Nintendo developers Takashi Tezuka and Shigefumi Hino revealed.
For the longest time, players of Super Mario World were convinced that Mario was simply pointing his finger for Yoshi to lash out its tongue, but this interview revealed that this was not actually the case.
In a new interview with the designers of Yoshi’s Island, Hino, who drew art for Mario World, confirms that Mario is indeed punching Yoshi. pic.twitter.com/v0KDZKLRn5
— Kyle McLain (@FarmboyinJapan) September 28, 2017
A translation of the interview (per Kotaku) has this scandalous quote from Hino, after describing the origins of Yoshi:
“Lots of people think that while Mario is pointing his finger forward, he’s saying ‘Go,’ and Yoshi’s tongue comes out. However, the set up that I drew was that when Mario punches Yoshi in the head, the character’s tongue shoots out in surprise.”
Wow, Mario kind of sounds like a dick. Not all of us here have rode horseback before, but we’re all pretty sure that you don’t freaking punch the damn horse to make them do stuff for you. Hino continues with a horrifying detail:
“What’s more, there’s an added ‘bop’ sound. However, it seemed like people would say ‘Poor Yoshi,’ so that’s why it became that Mario is saying ‘Go.’”
Poor Yoshi, indeed. So it looks like the “official” answer is that Mario is pointing “Go,” but it’s really all a cover-up by Nintendo to hide the truly cruel nature of Mario. But in the end, it’s not too surprising. Mario’s first nemesis was damned dirty ape Donkey Kong, not to mention he seems quite complacent with beating up Pokemon, Star Fox characters and a certain blue hedgehog in Super Smash Bros. You can see Mario these days literally shooting rabbit-like Rabbids with a freaking gun.
Expect to see more acts of cruelty from the ex-plumber in Super Mario Odyssey for Nintendo Switch, releasing Oct. 27.