Two years ago Roger Ebert wrote an article called, “Why I Hate 3-D (And You Should Too).” The title was appropriate, but also misleading, as Ebert spoke out against 3D as “a way of life,” rather than an option. James Cameron, he said, knew what he was doing, and he also had faith in Scorsese, who was in the beginning stages of making Hugo.
We’re inclined to agree that 3D is appropriate—and exciting—in some cases. So just in case Titanic 3D didn’t have you racing to the theaters (Leonardo DiCaprio trapper keeper in hand), here are some 3D films we’re looking forward to seeing; and a few that we’d like to see happen.
1. The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Release Date: April 27, 2012
Director: Peter Lord, Jeff Newitt
Starring: Hugh Grant, Salma Hayek, Jeremy Piven
Why we can’t wait: The creators of Wallace & Gromit can do no wrong, especially with characters named “Pirate With Gout” and “Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate.” It’s about time we got to see those bizarre little stop motion clay-mation characters go 3D. Oh, and the plot involves Charles Darwin, so there’s that.
2. Finding Nemo
Release Date: September 14, 2012
Director: Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich
Starring: Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres
Why we can’t wait: If the production takes a Hugo-inspired approach, viewers could find themselves very much inside and apart of the aquatic world, riding the East Australian Current, and being swallowed with Dory by that abyssal humpback whale. Sweet.
Release Date: September 21, 2012
Director: Pete Travis
Starring: Karl Urban, Lena Heady, Olivia Thirlby
Why we can’t wait: The cinematographer who brought you Slumdog Millionaire says, “If we get it right, it will be a cross between Blade Runner and Clockwork Orange.” Also, Lena Heady kicking ass and taking names in 3D? Yes, please.
Release Date: November 21, 2012
Director: Alfonso Cuarón
Starring: Sandra Bullock and George Clooney
Why we can’t wait: Bullock plays the lone survivor of a space mission trying to make it back to Earth, and it will be interesting to see if she can pull off a role originally intended for Angelina Jolie. However, with the director from Y Tu Mamá, También the story has great promise; and with the cinematographer from Tree of Life on board, we expect some powerfully good 3D visuals.
5. Cirque Du Soleil: Worlds Away
Release Date: December 21, 2012
Director: Andrew Adamson
Starring: Matt Gillanders, Jason Berrent, and Dallas Barnett
Why we can’t wait: Some of us still remember the Cirque Du Soleil scene from Knocked Up. It’s good to know that—sans hallucinogens—one might be able to experience these amazing performances in 3D.
And in our 3D Dreams…
1. Kill Bill (I, II, or… III?)
Tarantino has implied that if he could do Kill Bill all over again, he’d be interested in using the technology. We can certainly imagine Beatrix Kiddo taking on the Crazy 88 or plucking out an eye or two in 3D; but it’d be especially exciting to see the Pussy Wagon back in full effect.
2. I, Robot
The version shown in IMAX theatres was pretty insane and since it was (and always will be) infinitely cooler than Men In Black, it deserves the treatment.
Although director Chris Nolan has spoken out against the possible 3D conversion of his film, one can’t help but get a bit excited about the idea. Or, to quote one fan on a random forum, “I’d buy Inception in 3D in a nanosecond.”
According to Roger Ebert, no decent, self-respecting drama need ever be converted to 3D. Well, we’d like to put his theory to the test by respectfully requesting a three dimensional visage of skinny, shirtless white boys in rabbit ears.
5. Wonder Woman
The 2D version of this film does not even exist yet, but ever since the documentary Wonder Women! premiered at SXSW, we’ve been interested in the idea of a Wonder Woman feature film. A 3D version, done properly (and starring Jennifer Lawrence), could really bring this icon back with a bang.