Mayor Pete Created the Cringeworthiest Moment of the Campaign, and Was Rewarded for It (God Help Us All)
Photo by Alex Wong/Getty
Trigger warning: the following lede contains extreme moments of cringe, far exceeding the limits that the human body is designed to withstand. For those with anxiety like me, you may feel a sudden compulsion to tunnel a hole to the center of the Earth and take up residence in its soothing molten core for the rest of your milliseconds, but please do your best to fight that wholly rational urge.
Now that we have that much-needed warning out of the way, I swear on everything that is holy this is a real passage from a real report in the real New York Times (emphasis mine):
Ask almost any Iowa Democrat, and they’ll tell you: Pete Buttigieg is smart.
He speaks multiple languages, went to Harvard University and plays the piano, Martha Ludeking, 63, recited, as she watched the presidential candidate take a picture with a fellow Iowan. Lori Lechtenberg, 59, said, “There’s just something about him — he’s intelligent.” When an audience member asked about conditions in Gaza during a campaign stop in Mason City, Mr. Buttigieg began responding in Arabic. The overwhelmingly white audience, largely unaware of what he said, broke into raucous applause.
Excuse me for a minute while I tag in the only good Twitter account to most accurately articulate my thoughts.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
— Endless Screaming (@infinite_scream) November 5, 2019
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
— Endless Screaming (@infinite_scream) November 5, 2019
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
— Endless Screaming (@infinite_scream) November 4, 2019