Terrible news, everyone. It turns out that North Korea, which has been jerking around American governments for decades, just jerked around an American government again. As such, the summit in Singapore scheduled for June 12—which would have been the first time a U.S. president met the North Korean Guiding Sun Ray (or whatever) in person—has been canceled:
Great letter, especially the part about how big and massive our nukes are. Alas, this ends the hope of peace and denuclearization for the time being, though Trump magnanimously left the door open in case Kim Jong-Un wants to jerk us around again. The summit had been building for months, but the cancellation had also been brewing for some time. It didn't help that a North Korean vice minister called Mike Pence a “political dummy” on Wednesday (accurate), but that was just the straw that broke the camel's back. For ten days, the North Koreans have been doing everything they can to instigate and needle Trump, including pulling out of a meeting with South Korea. Meanwhile, the U.S. and South Korea continued conducting joint military exercises, which didn't help matters. But as CNN notes, this bait-and-switch act has been North Korea's modus operandi for years. It's kinda their thing:
Still, the collapse of the summit was not entirely a surprise, even if Thursday's announcement was abrupt. North Korea has offered diplomatic openings to the United States several times over the past decades, only to return to bellicose threats. Even after Trump accepted Kim's invitation to meet in March, most administration officials put the likelihood of the summit actually happening at less than 50% — and administration officials grew increasingly skeptical over the last week.
Now that the summit is off, let's ask the really important question: Does this scuttle Trump's hopes for the Nobel peace prize? After all, he was officially nominated by these 18 idiots earlier this month on the basis of imminent peace with North Korea:
Trump is one of just 330 nominees, and I'm worried that without North Korean peace, his chances of winning have taken a real hit. And…
God, I can't do it anymore. This whole situation is remarkably stupid, and also totally expected. I guess now we can all go back to praying that Trump doesn't start a nuclear war on Twitter.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: You can still buy these stupid coins, though.