Jet-Set Bohemian: Detox to Retox

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Jet-Set Bohemian: Detox to Retox

A jetset lifestyle doesn’t have to be all private planes and decadent digs. In Paste’s Jet-Set Bohemian series, we blend the best of high and low for just the right balance … enticing everyone from backpackers to luxury boutique hotel lovers to come along for the ride.



the fact that New Year’s Eve comes with a lot of expectations, it’s always been my favorite holiday. For goal setters, it’s a chance to tackle all of those projects you were too busy for (or forgot about) during the previous year starting with a clean slate. I’m all for resolutions, but let’s be honest—it’s only the first week of January and I’m sure you’ve already broken a few. This is where the brilliant concept of “detox to retox” comes in. Sure you may have skipped a gym session or ruined your diet for the day, but hotels around the globe are making it easy (and guilt-free) to get back on track with a detox that allows you to forget these small missteps and start fresh. And after you’ve sweated out your toxins, it’s perfectly OK to indulge from time to time in some of your not-so-severe vices.

And, the idea of trying a “detox to retox” never made more sense than after a recent trip to The Standard Spa, Miami Beach, suffering from a slight hangover and ready for a Sunday brunch that included a large serving of the hair of the dog. The 1960s Lido Spa Hotel on Belle Isle overlooking the bay was converted into The Standard Spa in 2006. At The Standard, Iconic midcentury modern Miami style mixes with signature touches: from the playful ping-pong table in the lobby to the courtyard shop that sells ERES bikinis alongside slightly more erotic items. Walking around the property in robes is also not only allowed, but encouraged. After all, this is the same brand known for exhibitionist sex in hotel windows at the New York City High Line location, as well as a “sex bathroom.” It’s slightly more toned down here, but there’s still a clothing-optional area with outdoor tubs devoted to detoxifying mud baths that can be hosed off by your partner (or washed off by jumping straight in the bay).

At the upstairs spa, you could spend days and still never try all of the treatments and classes. Soaking tubs surround the Turkish hamam, with attendants offering guests their choice of exfoliant (recommended to scrub on in the steam room) and thermal salts with herbs or crystals to drop in the bath. Here you can also bathe your friend (I politely declined) or soak solo before hopping over to other parts of the hydrotherapy playground, with its cedar sauna and sound shower. The spa also takes its role seriously as being part-Ashram, part-healing center with classes and workshops from yoga and Pilates to crystal sound therapy, hypnosis and acupuncture. The in-house astrologer-slash-acupuncturist can even perform B12 vitamin shots for those in need of a quick energy and mood booster. Even if you wanted to retox after all of this detoxing, the Lido Restaurant & Bayside Grill makes it pretty hard, since the Mediterranean-inspired menu consists of unprocessed food, organic meat and fish, and even biodynamic wine. Of course while you’re having a spirulina bowl over Sunday brunch, you can go right ahead and pair it with something that has a bit more kick, like The Standard’s version of a Bloody Mary, the Wake N’ Bake, with jalapeño-infused reposado tequila blended with freshly pressed spicy tomato mix topped off by a rim of smoked sea salt.


At all-inclusive The BodyHoliday in Saint Lucia, you’ll get just that—the holiday of your choosing, whether it’s beach-centric or holistic. Just 30 minutes from the capital Castries, the resort is on Cariblue Beach on the northwest point of the island, engulfed in 42 acres of tropical gardens. The perfect solution to getting New Year’s resolutions back on track, the resort’s roster of BodyScience programs focus on everything from de-stress to weight management, fitness and healthy aging. Even better, the Detox Health program can find out your exact detoxification status through a series of scientific tests, so the experts can craft a personalized nutrition and lifestyle plan to help you get balanced and rejuvenated in no time.

Whether you want to focus on a nutrition or fitness plan, you’ll receive 360-degree treatment as soon as you touch down on the island with a team of health gurus managing your schedule of spa treatments, menus prepped by the Ayurvedic chef, and workouts in a glass-encase tree house overlooking the Caribbean Sea. But don’t worry, while health is a huge focus here, it’s not an alcohol-free resort, so you can still indulge in a glass of wine at dinner or nightcap before bed.


Tulum, Mexico is synonymous with digital detoxes and yoga retreats and the eco-chic beachfront Amansala is home to both. Spread across two properties with 24 cabanas in each, Amansala made a name for itself with the bikini bootcamp program. While the program is designed for those looking for a fat-blasting workout, the six-day Detox Cleanse also focuses on working out your body as well as your mind, with daily yoga and meditation in seaside shalas, raw food cooking classes, lean and green menus, and beach walks. The whole idea behind the cleanse is not only getting your body reset, but also doing it in an environment removed from stress and distractions (and one that includes Mayan clay treatments) just a quick bike ride away from the pyramids in Tulum. Since the point is to detox, meals are heavy on the greens as well as local fish and chicken. Falling into step with the whole “detox to retox” idea, though, the resort’s motto is “in moderation, not deprivation,” so you can still sip on a post-workout margarita after burning off all those calories.

Lane Nieset is Paste’s Jet-Set Bohemian columnist and a freelance writer covering all things travel from her home base in Nice, France.

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