Poseidon's Fury Is Closing Permanently at Universal in May

Poseidon’s Fury is closing forever on May 9, and I don’t really know how to feel about that. Yes, the special effects show is one of the cheesiest things at Universal’s Islands of Adventure, with a witless script that would’ve insulted my intelligence even when I was a kid. It’s also such a weird and unique experience, though—a throwback to a less IP-driven era of theme parks and a combination show and walk-through exhibit in a park that’s otherwise dominated by rides. It has some legitimately impressive effects and perhaps the coolest show building at all of Universal, and it’ll be a shame if all of that is wiped away for whatever the hot property du jour is. But the show itself is some true cornball jive that turns Greek mythology into a cutscene from a late ‘90s videogame. It sucks, and it’s awesome, and there was probably an easy way to improve it without having to fully replace it. But it’s not based on a movie franchise or book series so its days have been clearly numbered for years.

Poseidon’s Fury is theme park design at its best and its worst. It’s based in the Lost Continent section of Islands of Adventure—one of only two sections of the park that aren’t themed to a pre-existing intellectual property—inside a show building that looks like the ruins of an ancient Greek temple. Fragments of a massive statue are strewn about the outside of the temple, with an arm holding a giant trident tipping off anybody who’s up on their Greek mythology that this building was dedicated to the sea god Poseidon. The Lost Continent is the most awe-inspiring part of Islands of Adventure, in part because it isn’t based on something familiar, and this temple is the land’s highlight.

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The cracks appear after you’ve entered the temple. The initial chamber is beautifully designed, with a detailed, somewhat realistic depiction of an ongoing archeological dig; when the story kicks in, though, and we meet our guide through the temple (a nervous young archeologist played by a live actor), everything lands with a thud. It’s the kind of overly broad, facile writing and shoot-for-the-cheap-seats overacting that marks the worst of what theme parks have to offer. That trend continues throughout the attraction; everything looks amazing and exciting, but everything involving the story is a bummer.

Poseidon's Fury

That story’s lowest point comes during the climactic battle between Poseidon and a villain with a name straight out of 1980s afternoon toyline cartoons: Lord Darkenon. This screen-based scene does some cool stuff with water and fire, but it’s mostly just an on-screen battle between two blustery drips speaking in that florid, vaguely Shakespearean manner bad writers use when they want their kids’ cartoon characters to seem old and smart. After walking through a series of intricately designed physical spaces, it’s deflating to end with a glorified film—and a poorly written one, at that.

Again, though: so much about Poseidon’s Fury is great. That final scene is sandwiched between its two best special effects. A goddess (played on film by Christina Pickles of St. Elsewhere fame) opens a secret passage in the temple that immediately floods with water. Just as quickly as the water appears, though, it swirls into a tunnel that forms a walkway into the final chamber. Watching that water vortex form, and then walking through it, is one of my favorite moments at any Universal theme park. And then, once the final battle between Poseidon and Darkenon is over, the chamber in which the battle occurred transforms back into the room where you first entered the temple. There’s no indication that’s going to happen, and the two spaces look completely different, so it’s a legit shock when it happens.

That’s the kind of stuff I’m going to miss about Poseidon’s Fury. As annoying and dumbed-down as the writing is, it can’t take away from what the attraction does so well. And the fact that it is a unique, somewhat original concept, and not just a riff on a popular IP, makes it stand out from Universal’s other attractions. It wouldn’t be a surprise to see Universal retheme all of the Lost Continent into an IP now that it’s losing its only attraction, and that’ll be a true loss for the park, no matter what they replace it with.

Although Universal has confirmed that May 9 is the last day for Poseidon’s Fury, they haven’t hinted at what might be coming in its place. It could be a new attraction set in the same amazing temple, but I’d think that’s unlikely. Given the premium placed on IP-based attractions today, odds are a new attraction based on a hit property is on its way, with a new exterior that fits whatever theme that might be. Lost Continent fans will probably want to make it back to Islands of Adventure in the next few weeks to visit it before it’s closed for good, and before the last remnants of Poseidon’s temple are washed away.

Senior editor Garrett Martin writes about videogames, comedy, travel, theme parks, wrestling, and anything else that gets in his way. He’s also on Twitter @grmartin.

Poseidon’s Fury Is Closing Permanently at Universal in May