Our 10 Biggest TV Pet Peeves
Header photo: CBS
We love TV. No, we really luuuuuuv it.
But like most things we love—our significant others, our children, our best friends, our parents—TV does things that drive us crazy. Myles McNutt (@Memles) has started a movement with his Empty Cup Awards, where he rails against TV characters who pretend to be drinking hot coffee out of a cup when there is obviously nothing in there and they’re doing a lousy job of faking it. I still get mad when I think about Glee completely forgetting about all the characters they introduced in the fourth season during the show’s sixth and final season. (Forgetting the TV characters you created dates back to at least poor Chuck Cunningham, who was never heard from again after the first season of Happy Days.)
We polled our intrepid group of TV contributors to find out what really, really, really bugs them when they’re watching their favorite shows. Here you go!
Women Must Go Into Labor at Dramatically Fraught Moments
From the lightest of sitcoms to the most high-tension dramas, showrunners have insisted from time immemorial that it is of the essence that a pregnant woman only go into labor in a high-stakes, dramatically freighted and/or physically dangerous situation. Labor can’t simply wake a gal up at 5 a.m. on Wednesday, because a pregnant woman is always, always a Chekhovian mantelpiece-gun and it has to go off in the third act. Pregnant woman in broken elevator? Expect fluids (and in the case of How to Get Away with Murder, blood) immediately. Pregnant woman in traffic jam? Hope someone knows how to cut an umbilical cord with something in the glovebox. Pregnant woman in abandoned mansion in the woods in an emotional tailspin in a dystopian totalitarian landscape? Offred, honestly, you should have known better than to leave the house: You were pregnant. Even Dr. Mindy Lahiri, a freaking OB/GYN, couldn’t resist the urge to give birth the minute a crowded subway car stalled and trapped her. Needless to say, if there is any form of physical trauma: baby. (Sorry, Daenerys, but you were Pregnant While Dothraki. What’d you expect?) Upshot: If you’re pregnant and a TV character, do not, under any circumstances, get into an argument, run into your ex, live in a seismically active region, drive, or board an airplane. And for the love of Almighty God, however swollen your ankles are, take the damn stairs. —Amy Glynn (Photo: ABC)
Not Understanding How Babies and Kids Work
Once the little bundle of joy arrives (usually in a dramatic fashion, as noted above), TV writers seem not to get how babies and kids work. The Americans will go down as one of my all-time favorite shows, but it drove me batty during the early seasons that Philip and Elizabeth would routinely depart in the middle of the night without even a thought of who would watch their children. (I know it was the 1980s, but still.) The show became infinitely more enjoyable to me once Henry and Paige were old enough to care for themselves. On Grey’s Anatomy, Meredith Grey regularly stays late at work for a surgery or to keep an eye on her patients without even mentioning that perhaps she should let her sitter know. (Or maybe the hospital’s always-open daycare does a night shift, too?) Not to pick on The Mindy Project, but when Mindy bought little Leo home, the parents—both doctors—were intent on child proofing the house. A newborn is not mobile and is incapable of crawling over to an open electrical outlet, something TV shows always forget. An entire episode of black-ish was devoted to Dre and Bow worrying about their one-year-old not walking. When it is drilled into parents that babies accomplish milestones at different rates, Bow—again, a doctor—should have at least known she didn’t have to worry until Devante was 15 to 18 months old. Splitting Up Together really grew on me, but in the season finale, Lena, a mom who they’d spent the whole season letting us know was a tad overprotective, sent all three of her children (including her seven-year-old) to overnight summer camp for the whole summer. And the bus picked them up right in front of their house. Babies facing the wrong way in their car seat. The infant who sleeps through the night except for the one episode where he doesn’t. I could go on and on. My advice? If your show is going to feature children, make sure at least one person in your writers’ room is actually a parent. —Amy Amatangelo (Photo: ABC)
There’s Never Traffic and Always a Parking Space
It became something of 24’s charm that our fearless hero Jack Bauer was able to get all over Los Angeles and barely even hit a red light, let alone a traffic jam—because as we all know, the 405 is always free and clear. The gang on 9-1-1 seems to have the same L.A. luck. Unless there’s a pregnant woman in the car or it’s an episode about getting stuck in traffic (as The Middle did last Thanksgiving), characters never seem to be stuck in run-of-the mill traffic. And they can always find parking. Always. Usually in a spot right in front of where they need to be. Going to a restaurant? Park right in front of the door. Even in the famous last shot of The Sopranos, Meadow only had to park across the street. Interviewing a suspect? Pull your car right up like they do everywhere from Brooklyn Nine-Nine to Law & Order: SVU. Driving is always delightful on TV. —Amy Amatangelo (Photo: FOX)
Showing Up at Someone’s House Unannounced When a Phone Call Would Suffice
Look, we live in the modern era. You don’t even have to talk to someone if you don’t want to—we email, we text, we send messages via Facebook and Twitter. You know what we don’t do? Arrive at someone’s house or office unannounced to talk to them. But on TV it happens all the time. Characters drive across town (there’s never any traffic, so why not?), knock on someone’s door, and say what could have occurred in a two-minute phone call. This happens often on shows about friends and family. The gang on New Girl did this all the time. So do The Goldbergs. Parenthood was also guilty of this. This consistently happens on The Good Fight, a show I adore. We get it. It’s much more fun to see characters interact than send an email, but once in a while just DM someone. Please. —Amy Amatangelo (Photo: CBS All Access)