The 5 Most Hilariously Blasphemous Moments from Black Jesus, “Fish and the Con Man”

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Black Jesus brought us another late night of much-needed laughs. The situation in Ferguson, Missouri following the killing of 18 year-old Michael Brown—and the ongoing conversations about the ever-present race problem in America—had many people tuning in to Adult Swim, perhaps in hopes that Black Jesus would bring some reprieve. And we were not disappointed. Blasphemy, excessive use of the word “bitch,” and the glory that is Charlie Murphy and John Witherspoon snapping on each other made “Fish and the Con Man” another great 30 minutes of comedy.

5. “I’m gonna punch you in the face with all my heart.”

How angry would you have to be to punch the Son of Man in the face? Well, if you’re Vic (Charlie Murphy), you might wake up, see a goat in your house, and that would be enough.

4. Even Christ has to snap back sometimes.

Fish hilariously notes that the landlord always looks constipated, “like he has a lot of sh— on his mind,” so Black Jesus tries to give Vic some helpful advice about fiber regularity. The following is an excellent, incredibly blasphemous diss from Black Jesus (blasphemous because Jesus never dissed anyone in the Bible… although there was that one time when he made fun of all of the hypocrites who pray in public places—see Matthew 6:5):

“Your intestines look like some top ramen noodles that you cooked, and then they got hard again. In a f—ed up bowl.”

3. Richard Pryor would be proud.

At one point Black Jesus says, “If you gotta believe in somethin’, why not believe in me?” We got all sorts of Richard Pryor/Pointer Sisters/Car Wash vibes from that one. And since Black Jesus himself (actor Slink Johnson) favorited our tweet, we must have been on to something. There’s definitely something blasphemous about Black Jesus channeling Richard Pryor as the pimp/preacher (or just plain ol’ pimp) Daddy Rich. And we love it.

2. A Spider-Man belt, and a Quinceañera bracelet

When the two Mexican gangstas extorted ya boy Jesus over the community garden land, that seemed pretty bad. But, upon closer inspection, it became clear that one of those guys was wearing a Spider-Man belt (okay, a belt with webs all over it), and—according to Fish—a quinceañera bracelet. Honestly—if Moses had to remove his sandals, that guy should have at least taken off his belt in the presence of the Lord.

1. Maggie and the Facebook B—tches

Black Jesus knocked out one of the gangstas with a slingshot, but he couldn’t save Maggie from the attack of the three Facebook B—tches? That feels so wrong.

Bonus Moment:


Corey Holcomb as Boonie is the secret gem of Black Jesus. We noticed that he inadvertently referenced abortion, and can’t imagine how fired up that must have gotten some folks:

“If she get pregnant, she can keep it for real.”

Amazing.

Shannon M. Houston is Assistant TV Editor at Paste, and a New York-based freelance writer with probably more babies than you. You can follow her on Twitter.