The Bloody Mary-fication Of Martinis

Drinking a Bloody Mary used to be a simple, uncomplicated affair. Then came the toppings. First, they were humble; a celery stick here, a cocktail onion there. Then, they started to multiply. Mozzarella balls, chunks of bacon, actual cheeseburgers, even an entire fried chicken. The Bloody Mary, what used to be a simple cocktail, has been overrun by a slew of savory toppings and additions that sometimes enhance it but mostly just overwhelm the drink until it feels like a slog to finish it all.

The martini, I fear, may be in danger of the same fate.

Over the past several years, the martini accoutrements have been growing in number and variety. There was the rise of the “filthy” martini and blue cheese-stuffed olives. Then came the martinis garnished with anchovies and pepperoncini. And don’t forget sardine fat-washed martinis.

Do these extra ingredients go too far? Personally, I don’t think so; I’ve always been the type to ask for extra olives in my glass, so I think a fun, salty addition to a cocktail can be nice from time to time. But a dirty martini can certainly be too dirty, and the addition of too many savory components can push it in that direction.

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To me, the best part of a martini is its restraint. There is a place for bold, intense and expressive flavors in a cocktail, but a martini glass is not it. A slight saltiness from olive brine or some other savory ingredient can balance the cocktail, but too much overwhelms it, making each boozy sip an uncomfortably salty and sour experience. And even if those fermented and fishy flavors are just present in topping form and not actually in the cocktail itself, they can drown out the subtler notes of the gin (preferably, in my opinion).

Maybe the form of the martini means that it’s at least somewhat safe from the Bloody Mary treatment. Thankfully, a martini glass isn’t exactly capable of supporting a full fried chicken under the weight of its thin stem. But still, I’d argue that the proliferation of so many martini accoutrements is not necessarily a step in a more delicious direction, and we must protect the beloved cocktail from the Instagrammable Bloody Mary phenomenon.

Sure, the current martini landscape is a great one for anyone who enjoys a savory cocktail—there are more options than ever for dirty martini lovers. But the second someone tries to put a full hot dog on the rim of a martini glass, I’m done.

Samantha Maxwell is a food writer and editor based in Boston. Follow her on Twitter at @samseating.