As Adult Swim advice maven Dr. Steve Brule, John C. Reilly has stolen the hearts of millions of chemically altered cartoon fans, but last night the Wreck-It Ralph star copped to a far more delicious crime. Reminiscing on Conan about his childhood on Chicago’s south side, Reilly told the full story of how he and his Little Rascals-like gang of 12-year-old felons emptied an entire boxcar of Sugar Corn Pops.
In his detailed, point-by-point retelling, Reilly explained to O’Brien exactly how the crunchy caper went down, going so far as to reveal the secret tool they used to breach the freight car’s defenses: a big rock. But even after he gave the first confession to a grand larceny in the history of late night television, Reilly remained unconcerned. “It’s not like the Lufthansa heist,” said the comedian, ignoring the story’s obvious potential as a kiddie-oriented Goodfellas sequel. Check it out above.