John C. Reilly’s Story About the Time He Robbed a Freight Train of 500 Boxes of Cereal is Incredible

As Adult Swim advice maven Dr. Steve Brule, John C. Reilly has stolen the hearts of millions of chemically altered cartoon fans, but last night the Wreck-It Ralph star copped to a far more delicious crime. Reminiscing on Conan about his childhood on Chicago’s south side, Reilly told the full story of how he and his Little Rascals-like gang of 12-year-old felons emptied an entire boxcar of Sugar Corn Pops.

In his detailed, point-by-point retelling, Reilly explained to O’Brien exactly how the crunchy caper went down, going so far as to reveal the secret tool they used to breach the freight car’s defenses: a big rock. But even after he gave the first confession to a grand larceny in the history of late night television, Reilly remained unconcerned. “It’s not like the Lufthansa heist,” said the comedian, ignoring the story’s obvious potential as a kiddie-oriented Goodfellas sequel. Check it out above.