1. Louis C.K., Live At The Beacon Theater
What to pair it with: Any Two Buck Chuck wine from Trader Joe’s.
We’re told that Louis is the best in the business, and that he represents all that comedy was, is, and will be. So he should be some crazy $800 bottle. But sometimes you can’t tell the difference in taste between an $800 and a $2 bottle, so why be pretentious? That’s not the way Louis would want it. Plus, for the same amount of money, you could get 400 bottles of wine! And that should almost be enough to share with all those people in your life who ask “Oh, you’re a comedian? Do you know Louis CK? Isn’t he THE BEST?”
2. Patton Oswalt, My Weakness is Strong
What to pair it with: Any cheap, well brand of tequila.
Patton is simply brilliant, and his well-crafted and reference-heavy jokes are fascinating and hilarious to hear. You really need (and should want) to listen to every word he says to get the biggest belly laughs. You may think this would pair nicely with some hipster, artisanal-mint-infused concoction; something where the bartender says, “and you’ll taste notes of pepper long after,” or something weird. But the truth is that with this special, you don’t want to waste the time on a complex drink that takes 20 minutes to make: you’ll be spitting it up when Patton hits you with his punch lines. Take the well tequila because you’ll need to drink fast between all the laughs and most of it will end up on your clothes anyway.
3. Maria Bamford, The Special Special Special
What to pair it with: Any crazy concoction your bartender makes.
We know we just said not to have any crazy concoctions for Patton Oswalt’s special, but for Maria it just makes sense. It’s hard to pin down what makes Maria’s comedy so fun to watch, so why pin down one kind of drink? Ask your bartender to make whatever drink best exemplifies their neuroses and fears, then sit back and enjoy the ride. You won’t know what’s in it. You won’t know what it tastes like. And you won’t know why you like it. All you’ll know is you’ll want more, just like Maria’s comedy.
4. Bill Burr, Let it Go
What to pair it with: Whiskey. Straight.
Bill Burr is an angry guy. If you take just a quick whiff, you may flinch and be horrified at what’s going on. If you take the time to let him and the whiskey sit with you, though, you’ll realize what a great time you’re actually having. You’ll realize you had more patience than you thought you had, and that you’ll actually want a second round. Give your full attention to the Boston-bred comedian — and the whiskey — for an hour and you’ll understand how absolutely perfect both are. You’ll probably end up watching and re-watching all of his specials. That’s a lot of whiskey. Buckle in.