There was so much to talk about after last night’s second Democratic Primary Debate, and 99.9% of it involved Marianne Williamson. The peace activist, self-help author, former Congressional candidate, and one-time roommate of Laura Dern’s stole the show with her new age Boomerisms, which made her sound like a right-wing talk radio host’s parody of Californians turned flesh.
The other highlight was Kamala Harris’s utter demolition of Joe Biden, who should probably just go disappear forever after his performance last night. It says a lot about America’s rightward lurch over the last 40 years that a guy who by all accounts lines up nicely with Nixon-era Republicans could somehow run for the liberal party’s nomination in 2019, and actually be taken seriously as a top candidate. Don’t you have a sitcom to go do a guest spot in, Joe?
The stage was filled out with the same mix of legitimate candidates and people whose names you’ll never hear again as the first night. In addition to Harris and Biden, Bernie Sanders and Pete Buttigieg were on hand, rounding up the group of people who actually have a shot at this thing. And then you had your Andrew Yangs and your Hickenloopers and your Swalwells—people whose first names aren’t even worth learning because as soon as they drop out you’ll never have to think about them again. It’s ridiculous we’re even going to talk about these events until they start pitting the serious candidates against each other, but hey, this is a numbers business and what the hell else is going to drag people in during the summer?
So here are some jokes about last night. A ton of them are about Marianne Williamson but don’t worry: there’s variety here. There’s more than enough room in the digital ether to make fun of all candidates, and not just the ones who believe in fairies and aliens. Check ‘em out below and make sure to follow all these great tweeters.