The Funniest Tweets from Last Night’s Democratic Debate

Oh hey, there was another mostly useless debate between too many Democratic candidates for president last night. I was barely aware of it this time, even though it’s in my own home town. It’s easy to forget about these things now because they’re so fundamentally pointless and just a general waste of time for everybody involved (and especially for Tom Steyer, who does actually exist). Think about it—we’re still like 10 or 11 months away from the first debate between the two parties’ presidential candidates. And that’s assuming Trump doesn’t break from all norms once again and cancel all debates—assuming Trump, who is, of course, currently being impeached, even runs for reelection next year. These endless debates put on by a rotating crew of cable networks are nothing more than ratings ploys, and sadly ratings ploys that tend to actually bring in ratings. Ugh. Everything is exhausting today, especially these damn debates.

Anyway. Politics suck. Jokes sometimes don’t. Here are some good jokes from Twitter about last night’s debate. You will learn more from reading any single one of these tweets than you would have watching the entire debate last night. That’s the truth.

Today is one of those days I worry about Rachel Maddow like how i worried about the wiring in my Brooklyn studio apartment when I’d run the oven, air conditioner window unit and hair dryer at the same time

— Erin The Gordon Problem Ryan (@morninggloria) November 21, 2019

the biden campaign burning $6 million to put a mast on a bus so biden can say “lash me to it” and grin through the rain all the way to charleston

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— Lupus Haas (@Mobute) November 21, 2019

Tulsi Gabbard is Marianne Williamson’s tethered.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) November 21, 2019

If we start calling fetuses “Democrats” Republicans will support abortion #DemocraticDebate

— Jena Friedman (@JenaFriedman) November 21, 2019

If your friends all suddenly hate each other it must be time for another #DemocraticDebate.

— Dan Telfer (@dantelfer) November 21, 2019

Am I crazy or has Bernie’s hair never looked better? Did my man’s heart attack crank up the swag? #DemocraticDebate

— Allen Strickland Williams (@TotallyAllen) November 21, 2019

It’s weird that Cory Booker is talking about criminal justice when he just murdered an elderly man on national television

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) November 21, 2019

I bet Beto is kicking himself for dropping out before the debate where the candidates got asked to rank the Fugazi discography

— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) November 21, 2019

Serious policy question: is Bernie Sanders Benjamin Buttoning since his heart attack

— Erin The Gordon Problem Ryan (@morninggloria) November 21, 2019

Biden aides previewing his line of attack tonight, saying that while the de-aging effect is technically competent de Niro lacks the energy and physical presence of his earlier performances. Warren camp has had plenty of time to prepare for this one.

— ‘Weird Alex’ Pareene (@pareene) November 21, 2019

I love to log on during the debates and learn how each candidate “is like that person from a place who always does a thing” because language is a brush and similes are the paint

— Max Silvestri (@maxsilvestri) November 21, 2019

Tom Steyer is what happens when your rich uncle comes to visit and hated that he waited too long at a red light on your street so he runs for president. #DemDebate

— Travon Free (@Travon) November 21, 2019

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The winner of tonight’s debate, and bear in mind I’m only kidding when I say this, is none other than — again this is simply satire and nothing more — Baby Yoda.

— Chris Scott (@iamchrisscott) November 21, 2019

Gonna tell my kids I didn’t watch like a thousand presidential debates so I could do posts

— Sovereign Poster (@BobbyBigWheel) November 21, 2019

it is really fucken wild that biden tried to claim he comes out of the black community, in atlanta georgia, on the oprah winfrey soundstage at tyler perry studios

— J. Escobedo Shepherd (@jawnita) November 21, 2019

Will anyone read my fanfic where Rosario Dawson propositioned Bernie Sanders in a hot tub after a 2016 Syracuse rally & he pulled away after one kiss and stormed out saying “This never happened” but Rosario wanted to stay in his orbit so she started dating Corey Booker

— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) November 21, 2019

very annoying when Tom Steyer makes a good point

— ‘Weird Alex’ Pareene (@pareene) November 21, 2019

Miss me?

— Marianne Williamson (@marwilliamson) November 21, 2019

Loving Joe Biden’s new policy: “Well, Uh, You Know, Because, Uh, Well, There You Go”

— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) November 21, 2019

listen if biden wins the nom i’ll do EVERYTHING in my power to get him teeth n sunglasses to look like uncle baby billy

— mary houlihan (@maryhoulie) November 21, 2019

When Elizabeth warren comes on I say “David spade looks terrible”. And everyone loves it

— dylan gelula (@DylanGelula) November 21, 2019

I don’t where it ends, but every time I hear Andrew Yang speak, the more I like him. Seems really human, which is very on-brand for a man starting a war with robots. #DemocraticDebate

— chris o’dowd (@BigBoyler) November 21, 2019