Oh hey, there was another mostly useless debate between too many Democratic candidates for president last night. I was barely aware of it this time, even though it’s in my own home town. It’s easy to forget about these things now because they’re so fundamentally pointless and just a general waste of time for everybody involved (and especially for Tom Steyer, who does actually exist). Think about it—we’re still like 10 or 11 months away from the first debate between the two parties’ presidential candidates. And that’s assuming Trump doesn’t break from all norms once again and cancel all debates—assuming Trump, who is, of course, currently being impeached, even runs for reelection next year. These endless debates put on by a rotating crew of cable networks are nothing more than ratings ploys, and sadly ratings ploys that tend to actually bring in ratings. Ugh. Everything is exhausting today, especially these damn debates.
Anyway. Politics suck. Jokes sometimes don’t. Here are some good jokes from Twitter about last night’s debate. You will learn more from reading any single one of these tweets than you would have watching the entire debate last night. That’s the truth.
Today is one of those days I worry about Rachel Maddow like how i worried about the wiring in my Brooklyn studio apartment when I’d run the oven, air conditioner window unit and hair dryer at the same time
Biden aides previewing his line of attack tonight, saying that while the de-aging effect is technically competent de Niro lacks the energy and physical presence of his earlier performances. Warren camp has had plenty of time to prepare for this one.
I love to log on during the debates and learn how each candidate “is like that person from a place who always does a thing” because language is a brush and similes are the paint
Tom Steyer is what happens when your rich uncle comes to visit and hated that he waited too long at a red light on your street so he runs for president. #DemDebate
The winner of tonight’s debate, and bear in mind I’m only kidding when I say this, is none other than — again this is simply satire and nothing more — Baby Yoda.
it is really fucken wild that biden tried to claim he comes out of the black community, in atlanta georgia, on the oprah winfrey soundstage at tyler perry studios
Will anyone read my fanfic where Rosario Dawson propositioned Bernie Sanders in a hot tub after a 2016 Syracuse rally & he pulled away after one kiss and stormed out saying “This never happened” but Rosario wanted to stay in his orbit so she started dating Corey Booker
I don’t where it ends, but every time I hear Andrew Yang speak, the more I like him. Seems really human, which is very on-brand for a man starting a war with robots. #DemocraticDebate
