Every (Full) Flight of the Conchords Song, Ranked
Image courtesy of HBO Comedy Lists Flight of the ConchordsThereâs a reason why over a decade after Flight of the Conchords ended its run on HBO, Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clements still tour playing songs from the show. The New Zealand musical comedy duo first introduced many of the songs that appeared on the show in their special for HBOâs One Night Stand in 2005, including fan-favorites like âBusiness Time,â âBoom,â and âHiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros.â But Flight of the Conchords also introduced plenty of new great songs, while giving the older ones hilarious backstories.
Itâs difficult to decide how to rank Flight of the Conchordsâ tracks. Not only are McKenzie and Clements excellent songwriters who seamlessly craft songs that are both sweet and absurd, but fans each have their takes on what makes a Flight of the Conchords song top the list. To narrow it down, this ranking only includes fully fleshed songs, so âShe-Wolfâ and âRock the Partyâ wonât be found here. So, to mark the 15th anniversary of Flight of the Conchords, hereâs a definitive ranking of the 44 songs featured on the HBO show.
44. âOh, Dance, Babyâ â Episode 2.07, âPrime Ministerâ
This might be a controversial position for âOh, Dance, Baby,â but hear me out. If itâd been released as a standalone gag online, it wouldâve been perfect. Itâs Bret doing a parody of music videos made for songs at karaoke spots, featuring him singing in Korean. The English translation of the lyrics is absurd, with lines like âSometimes love is as sweet as kalbi / Sometimes the taste is likened to milk of a cow who has done nothing wrong.â But, in the Flight of the Conchords universe, it doesnât quite fit. It pales in comparison to the more memorable, hilarious songs featured on the show.
43. âFemident Toothpasteâ â Episode 2.01, âA Good Opportunityâ
When Flight of the Conchords are tasked with writing a jingle for a toothpaste made for women, they canât turn down their first opportunity to make money, even though they are absolutely clueless about what would make women want to buy a toothpasteânot to mention that they have no idea what women like in general. They love to weaveâŚpossibly? They have breasts and long-ish hair? Yeah, that sounds about right. The lyrics are amusing, but the jingle doesnât feel as catchy as other short ditties from the show like âAlbi the Racist Dragon.â
42. âFriendsâ â Episode 2.04, âMurray Takes It to the Next Levelâ
The issue with âFriendsâ is that it appears in an episode thatâs one of the least exciting from the series. Melâs song âDreamsâ is the standout from âMurray Takes It to the Next Level,â while âFriendsâ doesnât feel quite as whimsical and silly as many of the other songs featured on the show. It almost feels like a bland version of the âF.U.N. Songâ from SpongeBob Squarepants, lacking a chorus thatâll follow you over a decade later.
41. âDemon Womanâ â Episode 2.07, âPrime Ministerâ
âDemon Womanâ had all the potential to be a great song. It comes up when Jemaine becomes entangled with Karen (Mary Lynn Rajskub) who wants Jemaine to pretend to be Art Garfunkel in bed, pestering him to sing âBright Eyes.â Why Jemaine would launch into a parody of Cliff Richardâs song instead of a Garfunkel one while dressed as Garfunkel is beyond reason, but even more questionable than that is why such a forgettable song would be included on the show in the first place. We do get some Jemaine hip-swinging action though, so thatâs a plus.
40. âRambling Through the Avenues of Timeâ â Episode 2.09, âWingmenâ
âRambling Through the Avenues of Timeâ has a great back-and-forth between lovelorn Bret and an annoyed Jemaine who just wanted some damn bread, not for his bandmate-roommate to get distracted falling for some lady he hasnât even talked to: âShe was comparable to Cleopatra
(Quite old) / Sheâs like Shakespeareâs Juliet (What, thirteen?).â But this parody of âPiano Manâ and âWhere Do You Go To My Lovelyâ rambles on a bit without much excitement.
39. âRejectedâ â Episode 2.01, âA Good Opportunityâ
Itâs a treat when Rhys Darby gets to have his own musical moment, even though heâs not the one singing (the voice we hear is actually Andrew Drost). âRejectedâ attempts to turn this opera number into a spectacle. Whatâs more dramatic than Murray belting out lyrics about being fired by the band while standing over a balcony with a 360 degree view of New York Cityâs skyline? But itâs not a Flight of the Conchords song that fans would think of while remembering their favorites. It lacks the unforgettable, âoh god this song will follow me for the rest of my lifeâ aspect that so many songs from the show have.
38. âAngelsâ â Episode 2.01, âA Good Opportunityâ
Usually, no matter how ridiculous a Flight of the Conchords song is, it somehow fits into the story well. But âAngelsâ feels like it comes out of nowhere, and even though the lyrics should be memorable (itâs a song about angels fucking!) and sounds like Velvet Underground, itâs sadly pretty underwhelming.
37. âCheer Up, Murrayâ â Episode 1.11, âThe Actorâ
Is Murray a good manager? Absolutely not. Poor guy sucks at everything. So when Bret and Jemaine try to cheer him up by writing him a song, they struggle to find genuine compliments. He ummâŚwell, he has a job, all his limbs, and a sensible nose. Heâs good at matching his ties to his clothes. The lyrics are great, but the song doesnât get to be at âFOTC classicâ level because itâs not very sonically enticing.
36. âStay Coolâ â Episode 2.03, âThe Tough Bretsâ
Flight of the Conchords songs often teeter between corny and cool, but this West Side Story parody is just plain corny. Itâs catchy, sure, but has the opposite effect of its name. When you have a nearly-perfect earworm like âHurt Feelingsâ in the same episode, itâs tough to measure up to that.
35. âThink About Itâ â Episode 1.03, âMuggedâ
This oneâs amusing, because itâs Bret and Jemaine attempting to talk about serious issues (Gun violence! Disease! Child slavery! Death!) in a very Flight of the Conchords way. âThereâs people on the streets getting diseases from monkeys,â sings Jemaine, seemingly predicting the hysteria over the resurgence of the very scary-looking monkeypox. Itâs definitely a fun one lyrically, serving as a PSA parody of sorts, but fans know there are far better Flight of the Conchords songs.
34. âPencils in the Wind (Sellotape)â â Episode 1.04, âYokoâ
The one thing thatâs better than when Bret and Jemaine have hilariously mopey songs about being rejected by a love interest is when they sing about feeling slighted by one another. In this case, itâs Jemaine being upset that Bret chose his new girlfriend Coco (played by former Younger star and Broadway veteran Sutton Foster) over the band. Jemaine goes on and on about love being like a âroll of sellotape.â Most of the song isnât particularly special, but the chorus (âBrown paper, white paper/Stick it together with sellotape of loveâ) is hard to forget.
33.âPetrov, Yelyena, and Meâ â Episode 2.10, âEvictedâ
This is not a bad song by any means. Itâs fun and macabre, with Bret singing in a Russian accent about being stranded on a boat with âPetrovâ (Melâs husband, Doug, played by David Costabile) and Yelyena (Mel, played by Kristen Schaal), who gradually eat him as he sleeps. Itâs not a song that most fans would necessarily consider to be a favorite, but the visual gag is great. Itâs equally as enjoyable when Jemaine fills in as Petrov during live performances.
32. âI Told You I Was Freakyâ â Episode 2.09, âWingmenâ
This Beck parody has great lyrics; Iâd even go as far as saying theyâre some of the best within Flight of the Conchordsâ songs. Whatâs better than Bret tapping into his kinky side by singing about all the weird things heâs into that are simultaneously bizarre and PG-13, like nibbling chips off his loverâs hips while watching the moon eclipse? But while the lyrics are memorable, the song doesnât sonically stack up to the other horny songs from the show, like âSugalumpsâ and âIf Youâre Into It.â
31. âFashion Is Dangerâ â Episode 2.08, âNew Zealand Townâ
âFashion Is Dangerâ comes up when Bret and Jemaine get addicted to hair gel, tapping into their â80s fantasies by parodying âFade to Greyâ by Visage. This is the only full song featured on this episode, and though itâs a good one, itâs not amazing enough to stand on its own. It does prove that Bretâs voice pairs perfectly with dark synths, though.
30. âSong For Sallyâ â Episode 1.05, âSally Returnsâ
Sally (Rachel Blanchard) is one Flight of the Conchordsâ biggest muses. The unavailable love interest whoâs been entangled with both Bret and Jemaine is the subject of fan-favorites âBusiness Timeâ and âThe Most Beautiful Girl (in the Room).â There are no bad songs about her. But when it comes to âSong For Sally,â a ballad where Bret and Jemaine commiserate over losing the girl of their dreams, itâs not quite as great as the others.
29. âFrodoâ â Episode 1.11, âThe Actorâ
With âFrodo,â Flight of the Conchords has a charming meta moment, given that Bret McKenzie appears in the Lord of the Rings movies as an elf. Itâs even funnier when you think about how McKenzieâs character in LOTR was given the name âFigwitâ by fans, an acronym for âFrodo is grea⌠who is THAT?!???â This song almost feels like a fever dream with all its nerdy goodness: Bret as Frodo! Bobâs Burgers co-stars Eugene Mirman and Kristen Schaal contributing vocals! Bret as a heavy metal Legolas! But thereâs too much going on in this two minute-long recap of J.R.R. Tolkienâs story, with a messy mash-up of genres (including a rap and a medieval-style melody), failing to make âFrodoââ stick in fansâ heads as much as other songs from the show.
28. âLove Is a Weapon of Choiceâ â Episode 2.06, âLove Is a Weapon of Choiceâ
Every song on this episode is great, and while the song that shares its title with the episode is a great one, itâs somehow not the best one on it (that honor goes to âWeâre Both in Love with a Sexy Ladyâ). Still, thereâs plenty to love about âLove Is a Weapon of Choice.â Itâs a power ballad, partially inspired by Bonnie Tylerâs âTotal Eclipse of the Heartââbut thatâs not even the best part! Kristen Wiig lends her vocals on this one as Brahbrah, the woman Bret and Jemaine are fighting for. If anything, âLove Is a Weapon of Choiceâ is a reminder that Flight of the Conchords shouldâve given us more songs with Wiig.
27. âBret, Youâve Got It Going Onâ â Episode 1.06, âBowieâ
In this song, Jemaine dared to ask why a heterosexual guy canât tell another heterosexual guy that he thinks his bootie is fly. He made some good points! âBret, Youâve Got It Going Onâ was ahead of its time, coming out when âno homoâ was still annoyingly said by men insecure with their sexuality. And, letâs be real, Jemaine was right when he said âSome girly out there must be needy for a weedy shy guy.â Thereâs a reason why there are too many uncomfortably thirsty tweets about Michael Cera out there! This is an anthem for any guy trying to boost his best guy friendâs spiritsâŚif you ignore the part about Jemaine putting a wig on a sleeping Bret to pretend heâs a lady when heâs too sexually depraved.
26. âSong For Epileptic Dogsâ â Episode 2.06, âLove Is a Weapon of Choiceâ
Flight of the Conchords gave Sarah McLachlan a run for her money with this hilariously sad song bringing awareness to epileptic dogs for a charity show. This song makes the middle of the ranking because itâs so memorable over a decade later. Itâs âDo They Know Itâs Christmas?â for epileptic dogs. Whatâs not to love?
25. âDoggy Bounceâ â Episode 1.12, âThe Third Conchordâ
This song is by Bret and Jemaineâs rival band Crazy Dogggz. In this episode, Todd Barry and Demitri Martin ditch the Flight of the Conchords members to join forces and make their own mega hit. Itâs the single that turns Murray into a callous rich guy who neglects Bret and Jemaine to profit off Crazy Dogggz and honestly, I donât blame him. Itâs so catchy! If the show had been made in the 2020s, the song wouldâve likely become a TikTok dance craze.
24. âLeggy Blondeâ â Episode 1.07, âDrive Byâ
Rhys Darby got his musical moment where he actually sings with âLeggy Blondeââ and itâs a great song! Itâs simultaneously heart-wrenching, sweet, and funny as Murray sings about the hot tech support lady leaving the office: âIâll never get, Iâll never get to be with you / Iâll never get to share another cup of tea with you / Never get to let you know how much I think of you / Iâll never get to tear your clothes off on the photocopier.â Compared to other fan-favorites, it might not seem as exceptional, but once you listen to it, youâll find yourself singing âLeggy, leggy, leggy, leggyâ all day. Donât say I didnât warn you.
23. âBowieâs In Spaceâ â Episode 1.06, âBowieâ
A Flight of the Conchords song in the style of David Bowie, what a combo! This is a wonderful tribute to Bowie, that fits equally as a touching homage and a campy parody. The same could be said about the episode as a whole, where Bret imagines Bowie as his Jiminy Cricket of sorts, imparting wisdom to him (albeit in ill-advised ways) on how to feel confident.
22. â(Like In My) Dreamsâ â Episode 2.04, âMurray Takes It to the Next Levelâ
This is the best song featuring Mel from the series. Itâs whimsical and childish in a delightful way. It almost feels like it belongs in a childrenâs TV show like Sesame Street. While itâs Kristen Schaalâs moment to shine, the best bit is Bret and Jemaine as cookies singing in an pseudo-Slavic accent reminiscent of Salt and Pepper from Blueâs Clues.
21. âBoomâ â Episode 1.02, âBret Gives Up the Dreamâ
In the first season, Jemaine tends to have the most moments where he loses his mind over some attractive woman, so this is one of the first instances where Bret shows his horny side. The line âSheâs so hot, sheâs making me sexistâŚbitch?â remains one of the best from the show and this Shaggy and Sean Paul-inspired dancehall track is plain ridiculous in all the right ways. Itâs hard to top Bret declaring himself to be the âBoom Kingâ while shaking his tiny butt.
20. âA Kiss Is Not a Contractâ â Episode 1.08, âGirlfriendsâ
Most Flight of the Conchords songs are memorable because of their outlandish lyrics, but âA Kiss Is Not a Contractâ works as an excellent consent anthem. The words âJust because youâve been exploring my mouth doesnât mean you get to take an expedition further southâ will always be important for everyone to remember. Thatâs not to say that the song doesnât also enter silly territory while speaking on an important subject, though, like when Jemaine chimes in that you can buy him a burrito with âsome beans and riceâ but it âwonât get you into pantâs paradise.â
19. âMermaidsâ â Episode 1.09, âWhat Goes On Tourâ
Perhaps Bret and Jemaine shouldâve seen trouble coming after they met the womenâs water polo team at their hotel and likened them to mermaids in the song. The ladies used their womanly appeal to lure the guys into handing them their room number and signature to get free drinks. âMermaidsâ is so pleasant to listen to that the lyrics almost donât matter. Itâs not as funny or lyrically strong as other songs, but it still makes the top 20 because itâs a musical highlight of the episode.
18. âLadies of the Worldâ â Episode 1.10, âNew Fansâ
This is another Season 1 standout that sticks with you years after watching the show. Sure, the lyrics havenât aged super well (âOh you sexy hermaphrodite lady-man-ladies with your sexy lady bits and your sexy man bits too. Even you must be in to you-ooo-oooââwhat the fuck, Jemaine?). But thereâs something absurdly genius about rhyming âladyâ with âBret-y.â
17. âFoux Du Fa Faâ â Episode 1.08, âGirlfriendsâ
âFoux Du Fa Faâ is très bien. You donât have to understand what Flight of the Conchords are singing to love it; after all, itâs mostly nonsense mixed with random French phrases. Bret and Jemaineâs over-the-top French accents are so charming and comical that this song instantly brings joy.
16. âSugalumpsâ â Episode 2.02, âThe New Cupâ
Itâs hard to fail while making a parody of one of the 2000s biggest pop songs (Black Eyed Peasâ âMy Humpsâ), so Jemaineâs song about his âsugalumpsâ is a winner. With rhymes that are only rivaled by Peachesâ âFuck The Pain Away,â âSugalumpsâ is one of the best-written Flight of the Conchords songs. Just look at this incredible line: âMy candy balls cause a kerfuffle /
The ladies, they hustle to ruffle my truffle / If you party with the party prince / You get two complementary after dinner mints.â And, of course, it is catchy as fuck.
15. âWeâre Both In Love With a Sexy Ladyâ â Episode 2.06, âLove Is a Weapon of Choiceâ
Iâll say it: this âSame Girlâ parody is better than the original song. Not only does it have an infectious beat, but pairing a sultry rhythm with comical lyrics makes this one of the best Flight of the Conchords songs: âAre you talking about a girl with a beautiful smile? / Yeah! / Like strawberry wild? / Yeah! Yeah! / Blueberry tracksuit pants! / White chocolate skin! / And socks! / That sounds like her!â It also helps that the âsexy ladyâ is played by Kristen Wiig.
14. âMothaâuckasâ â Episode 1.07, âDrive Byâ
It can be the year 2052 and Flight of the Conchords fans will still likely remember the lyrics to âMothaâuckas.â The self-censored rap isnât quite at the level of brilliance of âHiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros,â but itâs certainly a standout amongst the lengthy list of songs featured on the show.
13. âNot Cryingâ â Episode 1.01, âSallyâ
The showâs pilot has some of the best songs and that includes âNot Crying.â Bret and Jemaine come up with a humorous list of why theyâre teary-eyed but are absolutely not crying from heartbreak. There are so many great excuses for watery eyes mentioned in the song to choose from, but my personal favorite is from âcutting up making lasagna for one.â
12. âYou Donât Have To Be a Prostituteâ â Episode 2.02, âThe New Cupâ
Yes, the word âprostituteâ feels so antiquated now that itâs cringey. But that doesnât mean that âYou Donât Have To Be a Prostituteâ isnât a banger. The âRoxanneâ parody where Bret begs Jemaine to not try to do sex work has one of the catchiest choruses in the series: âYou donât have to be a prostitute / No no no no no / You can say no to being a man-ho.â
11. âIf Youâre Into Itâ â Episode 1.04, âYokoâ
âIf Youâre Into Itâ is easy to fall in love with. What starts off as a twee, romantic-yet-horny song by Bret for his new girlfriend Coco turns into a deranged threesome proposition. Bret sings about wanting to hang out with Coco and take off his clothes around her and have her be naked tooâbut only if thatâs what sheâs into. Thatâs sweet. But things get weird when Bret suggests double-teaming her with her roommate, Stu. Itâs one of those moments that reminds you why Flight of the Conchords songs are so enjoyable. Just when you think you know where something is going, thereâs a hilarious twist involved that makes the song even better.
10. âThe Prince of Partiesâ â Episode 1.10, âNew Fansâ
âThe Prince of Partiesâ is a classic for a reason. It sounds like a rejected Beatles song from the bandâs trippy last years and the lyrics are nonsensical fun. What does âyouâre a tasty piece of pastry, youâre so lighty flighty flakeyâ even mean? Nobody knows! But thatâs the point. It feels like weâre on the acid trip with Bret along for the ride.
9. âToo Many Dicks on the Dance Floorâ â Episode 2.05, âUnnatural Loveâ
This is hands down one of the catchiest songs on Flight of the Conchords. And, no matter your gender, I think we can all agree that Jemaine was right when he sang that there are too many cis men taking up room on the dance floor.
8. âHiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenocerosâ â Episode 1.03, âMuggedâ
Every lyric in this rap is pure gold, especially: âMy lyrics are bottomless / Sometimes our rhymes are polite / Like, thank you for the dinner Ms. Right / That was very delicious, goodnight / Sometimes they are obscene / Like a pornographic dream / NC-17 with ladies in a stream of margarine.â Itâs no surprise that it became a real-life hit, reaching No.67 in the 2008 Triple J Hottest 100.
7. âInner City Pressureâ â Episode 1.02, âBret Gives Up the Dreamâ
This isnât just an excellent song for Flight of the Conchords; itâs an excellent song period. Hell, it even was nominated for an Emmy for Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics. Thatâs how great it is! The Pet Shop Boys-style track rings true for anyone who decided to live in New York City (or any major city), with some harsh truths: âCheck your mind, howâd it get so bad? / What happened to those other underpants you had? / Look in your pockets, havenât found a cent yet / Landlordâs on your balls, âHave you paid your rent yet?ââ
6. âAlbi the Racist Dragonâ â Episode 1.07, âDrive Byâ
Some casual fans might question why a song thatâs supposed to be from a TV show within the TV show would make it so high on this list, since itâs technically not a Bret and Jemaine song (though Jemaine sings it). But âAlbi the Racist Dragonâ is beloved by the showâs biggest fans because itâs one of those songs that is brilliant in every way. Whatâs funnier than the concept of a theme song for a TV show about a racist dragon?
5. âRobotsâ â Episode 1.01, âSallyâ
Everything about âRobotsâ works in its favor: the concept of a song about murderous robots from the âdistant futureâ ⌠of the year 2000, the rhyme of âgassesâ with âasses,â Bretâs robot noises. Itâs the first âreal-worldâ song introduced on the show as being written by the band, letting viewers know exactly what kind of kooky guys these Kiwis are.
4. âCarol Brownâ â Episode 2.05, âUnnatural Loveâ
Many of the best Flight of the Conchords songs mix sweetness with outlandish lyrics, and âCarol Brownâ is no exception. Besides being a standout from the show, itâs also beloved by fans from the live Flight of the Conchords performances. It works as an adorable love song, where Jemaine is telling his new Australian girlfriend Keitha that though heâs fucked up every relationship in the past for a myriad of reasons, he wants to make things work with her. The choir of ex-girlfriends actually sounds lovely, making it feel like a real love song (and no wonder, with Sia among those singing). But there are still plenty of playful lines like âJan / Met another man / Lisa got amnesia / Just forgot who I am.â
3. âHurt Feelingsâ â Episode 2.03, âThe Tough Bretsâ
Nearly every rap in Flight of the Conchords is about the band questioning why they canât just be accepted for being softies, and âHurt Feelingsâ is the best of those. When Murray asks the guys if theyâve ever had hurt feelings after Bret and Jemaine diss every rapper they can think of during a library gig, they launch into the track, detailing everything thatâs made them feel miffed: friends not complimenting a homemade meal, forgotten birthdays, friends lying about being unavailable to hang when theyâre actually going to the theater to watch Maid in Manhattan. We can thank Flight of the Conchords for making being in touch with your feelings cool.
2. âThe Most Beautiful Girl (in the Room)â â Episode 1.01, âSallyâ
This is the first song featured on the show, and itâs such an excellent way to start. Itâs difficult to top! While some Flight of the Conchords tracks are memorable for their catchy choruses, all of âThe Most Beautiful Girl (in the Room)â sticks with you because every line is pure excellence. Itâs no surprise that this song was nominated for an Emmy for Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics. It lost to Sarah Silvermanâs âIâm Fucking Matt Damon,â which is also a classic so thatâs fair, but its loss still stings.
1. âBusiness Timeâ â Episode 1.05, âSally Returnsâ
Sally truly gets the best songs. This one isnât Bret and Jemaineâs attempt at penning a love song for her, but rather Jemaine getting a bit too excited fantasizing about what itâd be like to have sex with her. There are so many reasons why this song tops the list. For starters, itâs so hard to resist singing along to its chorus. Try listening to âBusiness Timeââ without belting out âItâs business, itâs business time!â But, besides that, itâs the fact that even in his fantasies, Sally doesnât seem to want to engage with Jemaine, while heâs obliviously trying to sleep with her: âYou lean in and whisper something sexy in my ear like âI might go to bed now, Iâve got work in the morningâ / I know what youâre trying to say, girl / Youâre trying to say, âOh, yeah, itâs business time.ââ Every detail is hilarious, including how Sally wears an old team building exercise t-shirt to bed with a curry stain on it that somehow still turns Jemaine on.
Tatiana Tenreyro is a pop culture journalist whose work has appeared on The A.V. Club, SPIN, The FADER, and Billboard. Sheâs a former member of the Weezer fan club and shamefully still owns the shirtâjust donât tell anyone. You can challenge her hot takes on Twitter @tatianatenreyro.