Shockingly, Trump’s speech at the RNC isn’t still going on. The incredibly long, entirely illegal, and depressingly low energy slog was the capstone to a week’s worth of absolute bullshit. The most notable things about it isn’t anything Trump actually said—nothing he’s ever said has been notable past how racist, sexist or delusional it is—but that the event was held at the White House in violation of the Hatch Act, and that it packed well over 1000 people into tight quarters during a pandemic, with almost no masks in sight. If anybody in attendance starts showing COVID symptoms in the next two weeks, remember this night. The Republicans weren’t just breaking the law by using the White House for expressly political purposes, but also going out of their way to tempt fate and act like the pandemic that has already killed over 180,000 Americans in six months wasn’t a concern. And all those Trump supporters and administration toadies who crammed onto that lawn had to suffer through one of the most aimless, uninspired, and interminable political speeches in recent memory. Whatever: those ghouls deserve anything coming their way.
Coming your way, meanwhile, are some jokes. Some laffs. Pure grade A chucks from the tweet factory. We spent the night diligently scrolling through our feed and “liking” any and every tweet that gave us even a microsecond’s pause, and then scraped through the lot with a fine-toothed comb to arrive at the peerless collection of wit and whimsy you’ll find below. It’s a taxing job, paying the slightest bit of attention to the societal collapse we’re currently living through, but it’s one we’ve taken upon ourselves, and so it’s our duty to share other people’s jokes whenever something significant happens. Even if it’s mostly significant because of the jokes people are making about it. Or something.
Here they are: the funniest tweets about the final night of the 2020 Republican National Convention, written by some of the funniest and smartest people on Twitter. One of them’s Dan Rather. Weird! Check ‘em out below, and follow the whole lot of ‘em—they’ve earned that respect.