Joey Fatone has gone from Universal Studios employee (thank you Wikipedia) to meticulously groomed *NSYNC member to that guy who’s in TV stuff. And what a great TV stuff guy he is! But once in a blue moon, Joey Fatone goes from that guy who’s in TV stuff to that guy who turns down TV stuff! While popular, Joey Fatone is still only America’s third favorite TV guest star. And with Betty White and Danny Trejo taking all the fun guest roles, sometimes our dear Mr. Fatone is left with some pretty crappy offers. Let’s take a look at some of the guest spots and bit parts Joey Fatone turned down.
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Yep, the name in the script is literally ‘Corpse Guy’ and the dialogue is a series of grunts. Corpse guy murders Bran Stark’s teacher’s child’s roommate. Follow along, people! This is important. Though Fatone is very good at low, guttural grunting sounds and even better at being covered in filth, he decided he just couldn’t bring the gravitas this role demanded. Massive respect for your humility, Joey.
Apparently Hunt herself wanted the role but executives decided to go in a different direction. Fatone passed.
The second Star Wars Christmas special was conceived after the success of The Room for “good terrible” hipster cred. Apparently Joey Fatone thought this character was too much of a Mary Sue and passed on the role.
Fatone actually filmed this spot, then refused to sign the release form “out of respect for Lance Bass.” Good on you, Joey. I don’t know what’s going on over at Showtime Comedy, but we need to stop giving Dice chances as a society. He’s a menace.
From the comedy duo that brought us Sketchy Sketch Slop and Exploiting Mental Illness EXTREME! came Awesome Hey Hey Fudgy Pop Hour The first fifteen minutes of the pilot were just a fake bump with old ladies singing the word ‘Dysentery’ over and over again. Fatone was brought in due to the creators’ refusal to actually hire old ladies. Joey was all for this avant garde comedy style but his diaper and bunny ears didn’t fit properly and he didn’t like the way some of the extras were looking at him. It’s important for actors to trust their instincts. I’m proud of you, Joey!
This was before MTV producers found out it was illegal to masturbate in celebrities’ cars. They ended up not producing this pilot, much to Fatone’s chagrin.
I can hear you saying “What? He only missed out on six roles? That can’t be!” Well it is! Joey Fatone is a real showbiz trooper. Remember when he did that dancing show and that other dancing show? My mom does! Best of luck to you, Joey Fatone! And best of luck to your majestic goatee!
Note: This is satire.
Hana Michels is a comedian in Los Angeles.