Just now, as we are preparing this post for Monday morning, the President has tweeted a gif of himself beating up CNN. Probably within a few hours there will be hundreds, or at least five or so funny tweets about this. We would gladly stick around to scoop them up and serve them to you here were we not presently seated before a large bay window, through which a glittering blue ocean stretches off into the cloudless distance, through which the breeze and the birds and the still-climbing sun beckon us to forget this shallow world of tweets and clicks and digital advertising. Have a happy holiday, or at least a happy day.
My god. Jay Z’s response to Lemonade is devastating: pic.twitter.com/BHVRsXLjAm
— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) June 30, 2017
shit, we raised the minimum wage too high and now there are no jobs. every company is just executives making 6-7 figures managing nothing
— The Discourse Lover (@Trillburne) July 1, 2017
My new life goal is to ensure I never do anything that makes Sting look at me like this pic.twitter.com/CIQ5KnlCDA
— twenty griffinteen (@griffinmcelroy) July 1, 2017
Me: Trump must be stopped
Trump: I will make Trump-themed Daily Shouts and McSweeneys humor pieces illegal
Me: Give him a chance!
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) July 2, 2017
“You’re gonna like The Babadook. I guarantee it.” pic.twitter.com/QJXwACYBMk
— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) June 29, 2017
hollywood is out of ideas. it’s just superheroes!! “baby driver” – what?? a baby gettin hit by a radioactive car?? no i will not “google” it
— demi adejuyigbe (@electrolemon) June 28, 2017
Still don’t believe in evolution? pic.twitter.com/sfScZWtmfe
— lexi (@dysplacement) June 30, 2017
when twitter puts ur mutuals likes on your feed pic.twitter.com/jIB08UBGNG
— Nyarthur ?•?•? (@Pyonkotchi) June 30, 2017
[trump unilaterally bombs a country]
Media: Hell yeah baby!
[trump insults some tv person]
Media: Today democracy died— Hippo (@InternetHippo) June 30, 2017
— Virgil Texas (@virgiltexas) June 29, 2017
my problem with Trump is just my outdated belief that the President of the United States shouldn’t be dumber than the dumbest person I know
— maura quint (@behindyourback) June 29, 2017
you know who should pivot to video? the white house press corps amirite
— John Cook (@johnjcook) June 28, 2017
If you could flash back to every pizza you’ve ever eaten or every person you’ve ever kissed which pizza would you be most excited for
— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) June 29, 2017
To recap:
-Cillizza is an 8-figure brand
-everyone is pivoting to video
-pols get donations when they assault journos
-NYT halving copy desk— David Klion (@DavidKlion) June 28, 2017
I guess if you were bitten by Spiderman, you’d become Spidermanman.
— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) June 28, 2017
now i want VIDEO of spider-man!! pic.twitter.com/wIcASx37z4
— Kevin Nguyen (@knguyen) June 29, 2017
How Super Mario Bros Showed Me It’s Okay To Walk From Right To Left Until A Man Steps On And Kills Me
— merritt k (@merrittk) June 28, 2017
— Dan Abromowitz (@AnnDabromowitz) June 27, 2017
One detail in Gothamist’s A train derailment story is priceless, and so easy to imagine pic.twitter.com/mLP5nk10Yk
— Tommy (@NYCFirm) June 27, 2017
— the percolator (@grabmybutstick) June 27, 2017
my doctor is my slave, i own him and make him cut me open and sew me shut. he’s a fucking chump!! thanks bernie!!!!
— tybuddhaboy (@tybuddhaboy) June 28, 2017
— Gourmet Hot Takes (@NuclearTakes) June 27, 2017
I’ve never seen a one sentence headline contradict itself pic.twitter.com/7azJBGXeOR
— Ari Fishbein (@arifishbein) June 27, 2017
— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) July 1, 2017
justin trudeau was grown from stem cells in a vat with the express purpose of appealing to the This. Is. Everything. crowd. pic.twitter.com/WxGiDVdVst
— bobby (@bobby) June 26, 2017
All of Twitter in 2017, summarized: pic.twitter.com/Drlbo9ionN
— Cool Dad™ (@mindthet) June 26, 2017