Feast Your Eyes (Not Your Mouth) On the Highest Calorie Dishes At Chain Restaurants in 2016

No one visits an Applebee’s or Dave & Buster’s under the delusion of eating a plate of decent organic, grass-fed food.

And yet, the Center for Science in the Public Interest has just released a new list of the highest calorie food Frankensteins available at these establishments in an effort to slut shame us from indulging in our greatest, greasiest fantasies.

The items up for mockery on this list, titled “Xtreme Eating 2016,” are far from surprising. One need only glance at the pictures of each menu item to instinctually understand that they are deliciously loaded with heaping helpings of saturated fat, sugar and sodium.

But still, given the whole “public interest” thing, the list fattens us with the details, scooping one whopping calorie count on top of another, all double dipped in heaps of snark.

The Cheesy Mac & Short Rib Stack you see at the top from B-Dubs? It comes to about 1,910 calories. The list dutifully informs us that the one sandwich and tots combo contains two days’ worth of sodium (42 grams) and saturated fat (3,390 mg).

In addition to force feeding the numbers, the Center’s list further prods America’s gut by equating the bad food with more bad food.

Take, for example. the 2,580 calorie Fried Chicken and Waffles Benedict from The Cheesecake Factory. “It’s like eating two Marie Callender’s one-pound Chicken Pot Pies topped with half a stick of butter and a quarter cup of maple syrup,” chides the list.

Read the list here for more fun food torture porn. If you’re still morbidly curious, Applebee’s Build Your Sampler is the potential worst offender by offering to slide 3,390 calories down the gullet of the poor, probably desperate soul who orders the maximum option of all five items. Hint: you’re worse off, not better, if you order the spinach and artichoke dip.

Read fast-food aficionado Jim Vorel’s latest entry into the “Eating Badly” column here here if you’re still hungry for more bleak food facts.