Cooking The Simpsons: Whale of a Wife Cake

Woo hoo! Ice cream cake! It’s time for a Simpsons recipe that is delicious and gluttonous. And thanks to Homer’s shortcomings as a husband right off the bat we have the glorious Whale of a Wife cake.
This recipe is courtesy of Season 8’s “A Milhouse Divided,” which follows the crumbling marriage of Milhouse’s parents. After becoming frustrated with her family, Marge decides to throw a nice dinner party. Despite her best efforts, Luanne and Kirk Van Houten’s sour relationship ruins the fun. They come to blows during a game of Pictionary when Kirk (appropriately) can’t draw dignity (“we didn’t all go to Gudger College”). The Van Houtens split up, and Kirk’s life continues to fall apart when he loses his job at the cracker factory. Meanwhile, Luanne starts to let loose and dates an American Gladiator.
All of this somehow gets through to Homer and makes him realize he hasn’t been the best husband. While he ponders this fact, we flash back to their shotgun wedding. Marge is super pregnant and the officiant weds them by the power of “the state gaming commission” and hands over $10 worth of chips. In lieu of a reception, Homer buys a store-bought Whale of a Wife cake as transfer trucks zoom by. Back in “present day,” Homer tries to right his wrongs by filing for divorce and throwing a surprise wedding with all all of their friends. At their real reception, Kirk sings Luanne his famous demo “Can I Borrow a Feeling,” but it doesn’t exactly bring her running back into his arms.
Now! On to the cake. In the flashback scene, Marge can be seen sitting in front of what is clearly a Carvel ice cream shop. This clue plus the appearance of the cake itself lets us know this is a Fudgie the Whale® cake, the dessert of many-an ice cream lover’s childhood. So the recipe is really a how-to for recreating the signature Carvel cake, but with blue icing instead of fudge icing and a nice comment about Marge written on top.
Fudgie the Whale® is as simple as it is delicious, with no actual cake funny business. The bottom layer is chocolate ice cream, followed by a layer of fudge, chocolate “crunchies,” and vanilla ice cream. If you wanted to be really fancy about it, you could make the ice creams, fudge, chocolate cookies, and whipped cream. If you want to be true to the spirit of The Simpsons and a true American, you won’t do any of that. You’ll do what I did and get store-bought ice cream, hot fudge, chocolate cookies, and frozen whipped topping. Mmm… “whipped topping”.
The exact amounts for ingredients will depend upon how big you make your whale. I used three 1.5 quart containers of ice cream (two chocolate and one vanilla), one jar of hot fudge, one container of chocolate sandwich cookies with chocolate cream, and one large 16-ounce container of whipped topping. But I also went a little overboard and the cake fed about 20 people (if you count me three times, of course). If you don’t make your whale pattern so big or are okay with a shorter cake, you can get away with two 1.5 quart or half gallon ice creams.
Enough gabbing, this recipe has a lot of steps. Don’t let it deter you, though! If you’ve got an hour or so of cumulative free time over the course of a day or two, you can make this cake. It is guaranteed to make people smile in appearance and taste. Just think twice before presenting it to your pregnant wife.
Whale of a Wife Cake
You’ll Need:
Cardboard
Some awesome cardboard skills
Razor blade or Exacto knife
Hot glue gun
Plastic wrap
Tape
Chocolate ice cream
Vanilla ice cream
Chocolate cookies or sandwich cookies
Whipped topping
Blue food coloring
A pastry bag and writing tip and a wider or star-shaped tip (or 2 zip-top bags with a corner cut off, making a small hole and a bigger whole)
Step 1:
Make your cardboard whale. This is all going to depend on your patience, cardboard skills, and dedication. I cut thick cardboard strips, scored them every half inch on one side, and created a whale shape. I glued the pieces down to a big rectangle of cardboard with a glue gun and attached the edges with duct tape. Full disclosure: I might have made mine too big, and might have been forced to make a special trip to the store to get another gallon of ice cream so that my whale wasn’t two inches tall. It also barely fit in my freezer, so make sure to test that out before you even get started.
Sound too overwhelming? You can always make a thin whale cake by spreading each layer of ice cream onto a lined jelly roll pan and then cutting out the shape of a whale once it’s all frozen. Ice the thing with whipped cream and no one will be the wiser. Plus you’ll have leftover bits for later. Or just find a Carvel store and beg them to write “To a Whale of a Wife” on top.