Bridget Jones’s Baby

Bridget Jones’s Baby is, if nothing else, a case study in how much star power can do for a movie. Otherwise a sloppy, careless mess which takes forever to get where it’s going and has no idea what to do when it gets there, Sharon Maguire’s return to the Bridget Jones franchise is still fairly watchable thanks to the charisma of its three leads.
The premise is serviceable: The lovably inept Bridget Jones (Renee Zellweger) ends a romantic dry spell by sleeping with two men—handsome internet billionaire Jack (Patrick Dempsey), who made his fortune by creating a dating site using elaborate algorithms, and old flame Mark (Colin Firth), who has recently split from his wife—within two weeks of each other. When Bridget learns she’s pregnant, she has no idea by whom, so both men come on board to assist her with the pregnancy. The guys (mildly) spar with each other and Bridget tries to sort out her feelings about them as the due date approaches, not knowing which of them she’ll end up with or if the same guy will be both a viable mate and the biological father.
In the hands of an old Hollywood pro like George Cukor or Blake Edwards—or, more recently than them, Nora Ephron—making an elegant, hilarious romantic comedy out of this material would be a walk in the park. Unfortunately, the craft exhibited by Cukor in something like The Philadelphia Story is missing in action here both visually and structurally: Director Sharon Maguire wields her camera with all the delicacy of a sledgehammer, and the script by Helen Fielding, Dan Mazer and Emma Thompson labors over some points and rushes through others. The film is way too long without fully exploring a single issue or subplot that it introduces—peripheral characters are introduced only to drop inexplicably out of the narrative, comic set-ups fail to pay off (just compare the handling of Bridget hiding the men from each other with similar material in Edwards’ far superior Micki and Maude), and the movie takes something like an hour (out of its full slog of two hours) just to get to its main premise.
Even when that premise does kick in, Baby does nothing with it (if you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen almost the entirety of the conflict that plays out between Zellweger, Firth, and Dempsey). The movie takes so long to set its plot in motion that it has to begin wrapping it up almost immediately, failing to exploit even the most obvious and rudimentary possibilities of the situation. The average rerun of Three’s Company has more comic complications. There’s zero drama here, because Jones barely has anything to lose: She’s got a billionaire web mogul who wants to be with her no matter what, and a successful attorney who happens to be the love of her life. Speaking of billionaire web moguls, how come Dempsey’s allegedly internationally successful dating site looks like a cheap graphic thrown together by a kindergartner on an iPad? For that matter, why does the news show Bridget produces look equally unconvincing and tacky? What the hell is going on with a pointless subplot involving Bridget’s mom that gets introduced late in the game and affects nothing, but pads the already brutally long running time?