I Don’t Have Friends, I Got Every Fast & Furious Film, Ranked

It’s been more than a decade since Fast Five zipped into our hearts and helped remind us that big, dumb action blockbusters could always be bigger and dumber. It also assured us that, with this infinite promise of undiminished vehicular returns, the Fast & Furious films would be here to stay—and somehow avoid most of the animosity thrown at other AAA tentpoles of its ilk. With an understanding of physics almost as incomprehensible as its naming conventions, the Fast Saga could be downright detestable nonsense. It’s not. The big-hearted, dopey stuntfests manage to win over cynics and convert new devotees to the family with every escalating entry. Naturally, we needed to rank them.
“This is the best kind of ridiculousness. Silly earnest monologues are elevated by great acting for comic effect in the same way as the physics-bending close calls,” our editor-in-chief and F&F convert Josh Jackson wrote of the franchise. In fact, he called it the “highest form of popcorn entertainment.” We agree. This dude-bro soap opera (or 3-in-1 body wash opera) evolves into something incredible from its simple origins, its web of characters and relationships holding up some of the best one-upmanship in the action business.
So now, with Fast X finally here, rocketing to the final frontier, it’s the perfect time to pit the Fast films against each other. And yes, it doesn’t matter if a film wins by an inch or a mile.
We’re also counting Hobbs & Shaw since it involves the same characters and its full name (Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw) adds another hilariously complicated wrinkle to a franchise that just can’t settle on how to punctuate its titles.
Here are all the Fast & Furious films ranked:
11. 2 Fast 2 FuriousYear: 2003
Director: John Singleton
While director John Singleton had the savvy to enlist Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris into the franchise, he’s also the weakest action director to ever get behind the wheel of a Fast & Furious. 2 Fast 2 Furious also has the worst script of the bunch, with Michael Brandt and Derek Haas turning in a screenplay that’s ultimately gross (poor Devon Aoki), rushed and dull. Easily the worst coked-up Hollywood bro one-liners the films have ever churned out. Oh and in case that wasn’t enough, there’s no Vin Diesel. He skipped the film because the script was too bad. Really, too bad for Babylon A.D. and The Last Witch Hunter star Diesel. But all is not lost. This is the film where the hints of silly sci-fi start bleeding into the franchise, and Singleton injects some multicolored energy into things that seems to come, of all places, from Speed Racer. But without that Walker/Diesel chemistry, nor a stream of excellent setpieces, 2 Fast 2 Furious is 2 Bad 2 Watch.—Jacob Oller
10. Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & ShawYear: 2019
Director: David Leitch
As the F&F universe further spins out and off into wider radii, Hobbs & Shaw is the first sign that a Fast & Furious movie isn’t as well-defined as we may have hoped. Even the film’s many lavish set pieces—a chase down the side of a skyscraper that morphs into a car vs. motorcycle spree through the streets of London; a battle royale in the Etheon facility; the aforementioned all-out brawl in the Hobbs family’s land that culminates in a helicopter sparring with a human centipede of tow trucks, each vehicle crapping nitrous gas into the grill of the tow truck behind it—fade into an over-CGI’d mélange of exceptional people doing exceptional things, reducing all stakes to a motivation for Shaw to make fun of how Hobbs is a graceless behemoth, or for Hobbs to make fun of how Shaw is a tiny weak old man with stubby stupid legs. Leitch, who’s proven himself a precise action filmmaker with his work on John Wick and with a few bravura scenes in Atomic Blonde and Deadpool 2, can’t quite anchor his kinetic choreography here, never losing any sense of geography so much as admitting his geography doesn’t matter, guys just sort of flailing everywhere in the melee of Hobbs and Shaw’s prowess while the camera always feels just shy of being in the right place at the right time. More and more, Leitch embraces the idea of a sweet action scene over the visceral execution of it. As is the case with Atomic Blonde, Leitch seems committed again to developing an homage to a certain era of genre filmmaking, then desensitizing the audience to whatever well-crafted style it’s mimicking. With Hobbs & Shaw, our duo follows in the footsteps of Riggs & Murtaugh, Cates & Hammond, Tango & Cash, Turner & Hooch—taking ’80s buddy cop action movies and focus-grouping them down to the nub. Bland backpack rap blares over one montage after another while comic book panels and subtitles slide past the screen as unpleasantly as Mel Gibson’s mullet.—Dom Sinacola
9. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo DriftYear: 2006
Director: Justin Lin
How bad can a script be while still resulting in an eminently watchable movie? The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift pushes these limits hard, but gets by on the flash Justin Lin brings to his first film in the franchise and the magnetizing movie star pull of Sung Kang. Han also benefits from being contrasted with Lucas Black’s Sean Boswell (a cartoonish Southern doofus whose full face of 5 o’clock shadow and receding hairline are supposed to be in high school) and Bow Wow’s horny hustler Twinkie. Han couldn’t help but seem like he’d descended from the coolness gods. He’s got a Brad Pitt in the Ocean’s movies thing going on, always sly and always munching on snacks. It’s rare to see the birth of a new superstar, but it’s hard to argue Sung Kang’s presence in this film is anything but. Sure, the script is one of the grossest of the franchise (which could also inform why future entries lean more towards high-octane spycraft rather than fully investing in street racing culture) and its ostensible lead is as charismatic as Mountain Dew’s hillbilly mascot, but Tokyo Drift still manages to be more than the Teriyaki Boyz’ great theme song or the D.K. / Donkey Kong meme. Those drift races are still a joy to watch, even if you’re often rooting against the hero.—Jacob Oller
8. Fast XYear: 2023
Director: Louis Leterrier
If you like fight scenes, fast cars and great actresses appearing for brief periods to give exposition, do I have a movie for you. Fast X asks you to shift your brain into low gear, power over a bumpy road of uneven dialogue, and hang on for some tight turns and incredible leaps—in the air and in logic. A film must be satisfying enough to overcome the demerits of whatever stupidity enables its fun factor. Your mileage will vary greatly depending on your personal appetite for sequel sludge, but if you’re the sort of person considering watching a Fast & Furious movie, you’re probably the sort of person that will enjoy it. Earnest dollars and ironic ones spend the same. Fast X is not an example of tight action cinema, nor is it an expression of how violence can be art. It is largesse in the service of wowing audience members—its greatest feat is the audacity it wields to impress. After expository archival footage, the opening barbecue creates a clearer direct connection between the family and the “Agency” they take missions from, which is soon thereafter severed by the plot. That severing is handled by Aimes (Alan Ritchson) after the family shares a botched mission in Rome with Mr. Nobody’s (Kurt Russell) former second-in-command Little Nobody (Scott Eastwood). They’re set up by Dante Reyes (Jason Momoa), the son of the late Río de Janeiro drug kingpin Hernan Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida), on a revenge mission a decade in the making. Momoa is the star of the show, strutting, chewing scenery and being playful with gender in a way this series desperately needs. Dante is the only F&F character even halfway glancing at not conforming to heteronormativity since Chad Lindberg’s Jesse had painted nails in the first film. Does music from The Nutcracker play after Dante name-checks it? You bet. Is Momoa doing enough of a Joker thing to feel like he was inspired by Ledger and Nicholson without outright stealing from them? Sure is. He’s brilliant, deranged, menacing—the sort of person that would be terrifying to meet in real life. Granted, the story of the film itself grows unkempt from a relatively simple premise, the twists and turns coming from myriad reprises, cameos and double-crosses. While the tone is generally consistent, the franchise’s bloat may serve as evidence that Fast X would have been better with fewer cooks in the kitchen. It is a continuing escalation of the Fast films echoing the “so bad it’s good” vibe of a bygone era of B-movies, augmented by a nine-figure production budget. If you haven’t bought into the franchise by now, this is as good a time as any, which means it’s as bad a time as any.—Kevin Fox Jr.
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