We do this every time, right? We watch the trailer for the forthcoming Transformers movie and we say, “Hey, maybe this is will be the one where they finally take the concept of robots punching other robots and then turning into sweet cars and turn it into a fun movie.” And then we actually watch the movie and it’s an overlong, bloated, self-serious mess, and we say that we won’t get fooled next time. Then the next movie’s trailer comes out and we say, “Hey, maybe this time … ”
Well, this time the trailer features Anthony Hopkins giving a speech about “two species at war, one flesh, one metal,” and that sacrifices will have to be made. We see a giant three-headed dragon and some Arthurian knights, as well as some World War II soldiers. Hopkins asks the question that’s been on our mind since the first movie: “One hundred billion trillion planets in the cosmos—you want to know, don’t you? Why they keep coming here?” Then there’s lots of Mark Wahlberg running and yelling, Josh Duhamel is still sticking around for some reason, Bumblebee blows up a walking tank thing that looks like it’s been ripped straight out of Metal Gear Solid 4, and it looks like the entire Transformer homeworld of Cybertron has come to Earth, because what these movies need are more Transformers that we can’t tell apart while they’re spinning around and shooting guns while buildings crumble behind them. And finally we see Optimus Prime, having been destroyed and left floating in space, now returned to Earth to kill Bumblebee, presumably because his radio talking schtick has gotten too annoying to bear.
The exact plot isn’t explained in the trailer, but it’s probably safe to assume it revolves around some special orb or energy thing that Mark Wahlberg and company have to get to before Megatron or Galvatron or whoever, and at the end they knock down a city to save the day.
But hey, maybe this time it’ll be good. Transformers: The Last Knight hits theaters on June 23. Watch the first trailer embedded above.