House Intelligence Committee “Clears” Trump of Collusion in Idiotic Sham Report

The sham perpetrated by Devin Nunes and the Republicans in the House of Representatives is finally over, and you’re never going to believe what conclusion they came to as it pertains to the Trump camp’s ties to Russia. I’ll let America’s most prominent Neanderthal summarize their findings.

Just Out: House Intelligence Committee Report released. “No evidence” that the Trump Campaign “colluded, coordinated or conspired with Russia.” Clinton Campaign paid for Opposition Research obtained from Russia- Wow! A total Witch Hunt! MUST END NOW!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 27, 2018

The problem is that the House Intelligence Committee didn’t interview the folks who may know the most about “collusion.” Sure, they talked to more than 70 people, including former Campaign Manager Corey Lewandoski, Keebler fascist Jeff Sessions, swamp thing Steve Bannon, and boy wonder Jared Kushner, but they didn’t speak to people who—yannow—were charged with crimes by the special counsel investigating Russian interference into the 2016 campaign. If you wanted to drill down to the truth about what really happened, those who have had evidence successfully presented against them in a court of law should be the first people you ask. Not interviewing people charged with crimes when you’re searching for crimes sure makes it look like you’re not really searching for crimes.

That said, the GOP did demonstrate some concern over an individual they didn’t speak to. Irony is dead. Satire is dead. They have conjoined with reality to create an indistinguishable layer of madness.

The report from Republicans on the House Intelligence committee says Mueller’s indictment of Paul Manafort “illustrates the necessity for U.S. presidential campaigns to better investigate individuals who serve in senior positions.” pic.twitter.com/bTVSlW9hfi

— Brad Heath (@bradheath) April 27, 2018

So sure, Republicans, Trump didn’t do anything sketchy with Russia, just so long as you don’t talk to Michael Flynn (pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI about his Russian contacts), Paul Manafort (charged with every money laundering crime under the sun), Rick Gates (pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI and said that Russian Military Intelligence was around Manafort), George Papadopoulos (pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI and said that higher ups in the Trump camp gave him the thumbs up to pursue deals with the Kremlin), or Donald Trump Jr. (not only admitted to the infamous Trump Tower meeting with the Kremlin lawyer, but sparsely communicated with Wikileaks during the campaign, and shared a link they asked him to share). Other than that, yeah House GOP, team Trump is squeaky clean. Thank God this farce is over so the real investigation (Robert Mueller’s) can hold the spotlight going forward.

Jacob Weindling is a staff writer for Paste politics. Follow him on Twitter at @Jakeweindling.