Lionel Messi-Branded Cocaine Is A Thing That Exists, Apparently

When people talk about Lionel Messi leading the line, this… is not what they mean.

Law enforcement in Peru announced a major drug raid that resulted in the seizure of 1.4 kilograms of cocaine. The drugs, with an estimated value of $91 million, were discovered inside frozen squid fillets and were apparently being prepared for shipment to Europe.

But the part of this story that’s Relevant To Your Interests involves the packaging. The cocaine bricks all bore the gorgeous elven face of Lionel Messi.

Police in Peru have seized 1,417 kilograms of Cocaine worth €85m, with photos of Messi on it! pic.twitter.com/AQ8LxJtCJh

— Team FA (@TeamFA) March 23, 2017

And not just his face— his corporate logo was also prominently featured, along with the royal seal of the King of Spain.

(Just to be absolutely clear: this is not, I repeat not, officially-branded merchandise. Lionel Messi is not a drug kingpin. Whoever was behind this is, all else aside, clearly engaging in trademark infringement.)

Weirdly, this isn’t even the first high-profile incident involving Messi and cocaine distribution. In September 2015, two men were arrested and found to be in possession of about $3 million worth of cocaine, with the packaging on the bricks also featuring Messi’s name prominently.

Just, uh, please don’t tell Diego Maradona about all this. We don’t want to give him any ideas.