Luis Suárez Tears Through PSG's Defense

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To be a defender playing at the top of European football is to be without hope. There is no point in making plans for a better future, no point in hoping for glory and silverware in La Liga or the Champions League. No matter how hard you work, how sharp your focus is, how deep your desire is, all your hopes and dreams teeter on the edge of oblivion. That’s because at any moment, Luis Suárez can appear and tear down your world.

In the 67th minute of Paris Saint-Germain’s home leg against Barcelona in the Champions League quarterfinals, bombed down the right flank before making a sharp 90° turn. He nutmegged David Luiz as he turned, feinted to get around a second defender in the box, sent a third defender sprawling to the ground, and finally sent his shot through Salvatore Sirigu’s left hand and into the net.

After that goal, the City of Paris collectively decided it was over. They had a good run, but Suárez had single-handedly ruined everything that made La Ville Lumière special. The lights on the Eiffel Tower were switched off, the Latin Quarter was boarded up and barricaded, the River Seine was drained, and the Louvre was auctioned off to a consortium of Texas billionaires. Paris is no more, all thanks to the superhuman flight capabilities of one Luis Suárez.