Look, let’s not mince words here— transfer deadline day is a farce. Twice a year we bear witness to an absurd carnival of helicopters, stalking players in grocery stores, and pretending to care about what Harry Redknapp has to say.
More and more fans are recognizing how ridiculous this whole thing is, and out of that sense of collective bemusement comes a wonderful new tradition: pranking reporters outside stadiums.
Starting a year and a half ago with the infamous Purple Dildo Incident, reporter interference has gathered momentum as part of the twice-yearly festivities.
For the end of the January 2016 transfer window, we have this gem.
A reporter for Sportitalia was on air and on location outside Stamford Bridge for the network’s live coverage of deadline day in England when a passerby began to accost him with an inflatable banana.
The unidentified man lightly— but repeatedly!— jabbed the reporter in the head and midsection with the banana. Said reporter tried to deliver his segment as best he could but he became increasingly flustered.
Finally the reporter had enough and took the banana by force, beating his assailant with his own instrument and forcing him to flee. The reporter then returned to his mark and continued the segment, still clutching the inflatable banana.
These shenanigans have become so commonplace on deadline day that Sky Sports implemented a policy of having reporters stationed inside stadiums or at training grounds to avoid such hilarious PR disasters. Apparently no one told the Continentals what to expect in England.