For a social media platform that is represented by a bird, it seems only fitting that there be many users from the animal kingdom. Those on this list not only tweet, they also bark, roar, meow, hiss, squeak, and whinny. And careful, both their teeth and their words are sharp.
A quick side note to the many animal tweeters out there (mostly of the feline persuasion): You are all amazing, but we’ve limited this list to ten.
Kitten photobomb. (https://t.co/G6Vcf5U9ev) pic.twitter.com/ir6aLLDTnN
— Cat Food Breath (@CatFoodBreath) April 20, 2014
1. Cat Food Breath – @CatFoodBreath
Twitter Bio: I am a 17 pound Siamese cat with a sushi habit.
Followers: 40.6K
Need for Feed: Cat Food Breath is an every cat’s cat. He/she tweets about best pillows to nap on, books cats love (To Kill a Mockingbird), and supporting various shelters. (Cat Food Breath remains “gender-neutral online, in order to be equal opportunity adorable to all.”) He/she also has a love/hate relationship with dogs, so perhaps it can form a truce with @Mikeythebrat and bring peace to the sour relations between canines and felines.
The ignorant bipeds are out worshipping their gods. I plan to take just one long slimy lick of the butter.
— Mikey (@Mikeythebrat) April 27, 2014
2. Mikey – @Mikeythebrat
Twitter Bio: If not constrained by ignorant bipeds I’d eat them. Mailmen, schoolkids, anybody. Follow ME comrades & we will overthrow the ignorant bipeds & rule the world!
Followers: 17.5 K
Need for Feed: Mikey is an anarchist and a curmudgeon, who is not so secretly plotting to bring down the bipeds of the world. By far the most dangerous animal on twitter, hopefully the CIA has him on its watchlist. He has a love-hate relationship with cats.
Six. Six is the number of bees who didn’t seem happy to see me today. I am a bear.
— A bear (@A_single_bear) May 1, 2014
3. A bear – @A_single_bear
Twitter Bio: 13.7 K
Followers: Hello, I am a bear.
Need for Feed: This bear lives in the forest, and has not picked up as many human habits as the other animals on this list. He speaks simply, in short, brief sentences, and gives stray, simple diary-like entries of his life in the woods. His buddy in the woods is Rob (the squirrel), who has recently been squirrel-napped and bear is doing his best to search for him.
scratch scratch scratch scratch
— common squirrel (@common_squirrel) May 2, 2014
4. common squirrel – @common_squirrel
Twitter Bio: run run run run
Followers: 101K
Need for Feed: Common Squirrel is the ee cummings of the animal kingdom. He tweets with merely one word, and his seemingly simple poetry actually reflects a complex and multi-faceted existence. Perhaps he can help @A_single_bear find his friend, Rob (the squirrel)?
Just met one of the nicest swans ever and we talked for ages about how beautiful onions are in the autumn and at one point we both sneezed
— Weird Horse (@WeirdHorse) May 1, 2014
5. Weird Horse – @WeirdHorse
Twitter Bio: I met a zebra once.
Followers: 178K
Need for Feed: Weird Horse hails from Weird Farm in the UK, and is a wordsmith of admirable talent. He is, however, a bit of a weird alpha on his farm, and spends his time teasing the resident cow and chatting with the chickens.
Can’t wait for the Easter Bunny to come. He looks delicious…adorable. I meant adorable.
— Bronx Zoo’s Cobra (@BronxZoosCobra) April 19, 2014
6. Bronx Zoo’s Cobra – @BronxZoosCobra
Twitter Bio: I’m an Egyptian cobra back from being out on the town. [email protected] I’m at the Bronx Zoo. For now.
Followers: 176K
Need for Feed: Bronx Zoo Cobra rose to fame in 2011 when he escaped from the Bronx zoo and the city went on a man—excuse me, a serpent-hunt to track him down. Loving the media attention it gave him, the Bronx Zoo Cobra has turned that bubble boy stint into his claim to fame, sliding up the social media ladder ever since. He tries to hide the fact that he probably wants to eat most every other animal on this list, but does so with such a charm, you can’t hold it against him. Doesn’t tweet too much, but when he does, it’s golden.
@ELEMENTARYStaff always painting me the villain…
— Clyde the Turtle (@ClydetheTurtle) April 25, 2014
7. Clyde the Turtle – @ClydetheTurtle
Twitter Bio: I live with a strange man who uses me as a paperweight and his babysitter. Occasionally, I crawl off to twitter.
Followers: 3,660
Need for Feed: Clyde doesn’t boast as many twitter followers as others on this list, but he is actually a successful actor, landing the role as Sherlock’s tortoise in the CBS show Elementary. Clyde is ambitious, and hopes that his performance prowess will soon win him an award. Dear Clyde, remember the moral in the fable “The Tortoise and the Hare,” and fret not, for good things come to those who wait.
Shat on Jose Mourinho. Yep. The Special Shit.
— Jon Pigeon (@PigeonJon) April 30, 2014
8. Jon Pigeon- @PigeonJon
Twitter Bio: My Name’s Jon and I’m a fucking pigeon.
Followers: 98 K
Need for Feed: True to his British countrymen, Pigeon Jon loves biscuits. Pigeon Jon lives on the streets of London, and it’s not clear what he unleashes more of: F-Bombs or droppings.
Dear Apple Store that won’t fix our iMac because you think there is bird poop in it: INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. Look it up, @Tim_Cook.
— Rudy the Parrot (@RudyTheParrot) April 14, 2014
9. Rudy the Parrot – @RudyTheParrot
Twitter Bio: I fly, therefore I am. @Pavahotti is my human.
Followers: 4,156
Need for Feed: A feisty bird that likes to start fights and throw shade, Rudy would make a great character on Bravo’s potential show, The Real House Pets of Twitter. Hates cats, even though he is followed by @sockington. Has more followers than his human, Matt. You can see countless Rudy videos on YouTube, in which he shows off his dancing prowess, plays with bubble wrap, and meets other famous birds.
EVERYTHING IS AWESOME everything is great when you’re falling asleep EVERYTHING IS AWESOOOOOOOME
— Sockamillion (@sockington) April 25, 2014
10. Sockamillion – @sockington
Twitter Bio: I am Jason Scott’s Cat.
Followers: 1.36M
Need for Feed: Probably the most famous animal on Twitter, Sockamillion is an elegant feline who often speaks in stream of consciousness. He uses his fame for good, promoting awareness of other cats in need, and even following the cat hater, @RudyTheParrot.
There you have it—a drop from an ocean (or at least a sizable lake) of good Twitter feeds for animals tweeters. How about you, Paste readers … what are some other good Twitter feeds for people who love animal twitter accounts?
Madina Papadopoulos is a New York-based freelance writer and regular contributor to Paste. You can follow her on Twitter.