The Best Halloween Horror Nights Houses of 2024
Goblin's Feast and The Museum photos by Garrett Martin. All other images courtesy of Universal.
Halloween Horror Nights started earlier than ever at Universal Orlando Resort this year, kicking off a few days before Labor Day. That’s right: August is officially Spooky Season now, which probably makes sense in Florida, as its Octobers usually feel like most other states’ August. The latest installment of Universal’s best-in-class fright fest runs on select nights through Nov. 3 and once again features 10 haunted houses, four of which are based on movies or other IP, and six of which are original concepts created by Universal. Lately they’ve been doing an equal five and five of IP and original houses, and as somebody who usually prefers Universal’s new concepts over the book report style houses that tend to result from IP, I’m glad to see them leaning into the new stuff. That didn’t automatically make this year better than the last few, though; Halloween Horror Nights 33 is more consistent than usual, with no truly disappointing houses, but it also doesn’t quite reach the artistic highs of the last few years. There’s no Dead Man’s Pier: Winter’s Wake this year, is what I’m saying. A couple of houses come close, though, and with one of the IP houses Universal has maybe hit new heights in actual scares. I’ve always been more of a theming and design guy, less interested in frights than in how cool these spaces look, and that remains true this year, when the consensus scariest house of the lot doesn’t even crack my personal top five. Let’s not jump the gun, though. Read on to find out what I liked or disliked about all 10 haunted houses at this year’s Halloween Horror Nights.
10. The Museum: Deadly Exhibit
I’m all in on this concept. A museum of folklore is hosting a new exhibit of the recently rediscovered Rotting Stone, a rock with a medieval legend about bringing blight and destruction to all that surrounds it. Of course it’s more than just a legend, and everything in the museum, from its collection to its employees to its furnishings, are twisted into evil beings dedicated to tearing you apart. Sadly the actual design of this would-be museum leaves a lot to be desired; it doesn’t do enough with the museum idea, and the various monsters that jump out at you feel generic and uninspired. Even a killer desk, which Universal hyped up beforehand, falls flat; other visitors in my group thought it was a normal monster and not a piece of bloodthirsty furniture, which shows how muddled the finished product is.
9. A Quiet Place
I expected one thing from a haunted house based on A Quiet Place: quiet. There’s not a lot of that here, though, with various alarms and noises and clattering going on throughout the house. It squeezes the first two movies into a single walkthrough, but little makes sense if you haven’t seen them; you wouldn’t even know the aliens respond only to sound going solely through what the house communicates. Some of the sets are impressive, but the story is opaque, the monsters aren’t particularly threatening, and the whole house generally doesn’t leave an impression. It’s a good gig for bearded scare actors, at least.
8. Universal Monsters: Eternal Bloodlines
It pains me to say this, but this year’s Universal Monsters house is a letdown. Typically one of the best houses of any year, this year’s bit of classic monstrosity focuses on an entirely female cast, with Saskia Van Helsing and the Bride of Frankenstein teaming up to take down the Brides of Dracula, the She-Wolf of London, and the mummy Anck-Su-Namun. Universal Monsters houses are known for their excellent design work, and although there are definitely some great sets in Eternal Bloodlines, it doesn’t have a major, defining set piece like other houses have had in the past. Worse, it does a poor job of telling its story; a major character dies in the end, and the only I or anybody else in my group picked up on that is because our guide told us after leaving the house. Universal Monsters houses are usually among the richest HHN has to offer, both narratively and aesthetically, but Eternal Bloodlines can’t keep that tradition going.
7. Insidious: The Further
And here’s where our opinions probably diverge. Insidious seems to be the consensus best house of the year, scoring top marks for its no-nonsense commitment to scaring the life out of people. I’ll be honest: when I started thinking about my ranking less than an hour after getting back to my hotel room, I could only remember three things about the Insidious house: a big red door at the beginning with a poem that sounds like lyrics to The Go-Betweens’ “Bye Bye Pride,” a couple instances of that old trick of having a room filled with mannequins and one or two actual actors, and a room playing Tiny Tim’s “Tiptoe through the Tulips.” (Apparently people now know that as “the Insidious song”? News to me.) And it was one of the last two houses I did that night; it should’ve been fresh in my memory, but instead I could barely remember it at all. That’s what happens when a house cares far more about scares than cool sets or striking design. (It also probably doesn’t help that I’ve never seen an Insidious movie.) Other than that massive red door that you walk through at the start of the house and the Tiny Tim room, there’s not much to this house other than jump scares, which you’ll find a dozen or two of in every Halloween Horror Nights house. Everybody loves this house, but I just don’t see it.