If the holiday season and, you know … (*gestures at everything*) ... somehow hasn’t already turned your brain into soup, this hard-hitting news bulletin sure will. Baby Yoda, the criminally adorable alien who isn’t actually Yoda, but merely a young member of his unspecified species, is the breakout star of Disney+’s The Mandalorian, and he’s impossible to ignore nowadays, not that we would ever for one moment want to do that. The latest verse in the perpetually delightful ballad of Baby Yoda comes to us courtesy of the equally lovable Laura Dern, whose turn as the purple-haired Admiral Holdo was a highlight of Rian Johnson’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Asked by Variety’s Marc Malkin whether she’d had the honor of looking upon the glorious Baby Yoda, Dern gave a truly mystifying response that we’re going to bold and block quote just so you can pore over every reason-defying word of it:
Yes, I did. Just today. I don’t know but I think he was at a basketball game. That’s all I’m going to say. I think I saw him at a basketball game. It was NBA.
We have—conservative estimate—9,000 questions. Here are the main ones:
3. Did Laura Dern think Malkin said “Abe Vigoda”?
4. Does Laura Dern think Abe Vigoda is still alive and attending NBA games?
5. Did Baby Yoda attend an NBA game?
6. Is Baby Yoda real?
7. Am I real?
8. Was Laura Dern just watching The Mandalorian on her phone during an NBA game? That would be both a reasonable explanation and a bitter disappointment.
9. Does Baby Yoda also follow the WNBA?
10. Can Baby Yoda dunk, with or without using the Force?
11. Was Laura Dern the one dunking on Baby Yoda by cracking wise about his height?
12. Did Laura Dern just see someone who looks like Baby Yoda, and if so, is that person okay?
13. Seriously, WHAT?!?!
14. (*incoherent shrieking*)
15. Did Baby Yoda’s team win? I want nothing but happiness for him.
Watch the clip below and please send us your theories. We’ll be thinking about this and only this for a while.