Get ready. The ladies of Litchfield Penitentiary are back. Netflix surprised everyone last night with an early premiere of Orange is the New Black’s highly-anticipated third season. Before you settle in for some serious binge watching (if you already started, you’re INSANE/we love you and you should still read this), here’s what you need to remember about Season Two. And we threw in some awesome fan-made YouTube videos just for fun (and, okay, because the legitimate clips are hard to find).
After Piper (Taylor Schilling) finds out that Polly (Maria Dizzia) and Larry (Jason Biggs) are having an affair, she asks them for one last favor: will they call Alex’s parole officer and tell him Alex is planning to run? That’s right. Even after Alex betrayed Piper by turning in their drug dealer after convincing Piper to lie under oath, Piper still can’t let Alex go. Alex is arrested and is headed straight back to Litchfield. And the fact that Prepon is a series regular for the show’s third season and Biggs isn’t returning probably means we’ll be seeing a lot more of Alex and Piper’s dysfunctional relationship.
Last season, Lorraine Toussaint created one of the most horrific villains ever seen on a series. She uprooted Red (Kate Mulgrew) from her position of power, turned Taystee (Danielle Brooks) and Poussey (Samira Wiley) against each other, brought drugs back into the prison, and, worst of all, viciously beat up Red and framed Suzanne AKA Crazy Eyes (Uzo Aduba) for the attack. Oh, and did I mention that flashbacks showed how she slept with her defacto foster child before having him murdered? Eventually Cindy (Adrienne C. Moore), Taystee and Janae (Vicky Jeudy) realize Vee has no power without them and turn on her. Out of options, Vee used Red’s tunnel to escape, only to be run down by Rosa (Barbara Rosenblat) who had stolen the prison van with the intent of going out in a blaze of glory. Toussaint isn’t returning for Season Three which leaves room for Red to be back in charge or for perhaps a whole new prisoner to take command.
After Diaz (Dascha Polanco) frames Pornstache (Pablo Schreiber) as the father of her baby by sleeping with him, Bennett, who had once been all for this plan, confesses to Caputo (Nick Sandow) that he’s actually the baby’s father. But Caputo, who has just been put in charge, doesn’t want to hear it. “It’s my second day, I can’t have this,” he tells him. Bennett is definitely going to need some help this season. Maybe he can call Annalise Keating?
Caputo is finally able to prove that Fig has been embezzling money from the prison. She’s ousted and Caputo is put in charge. (But not before he blackmails her into giving him a blow job in this deeply disturbing scene.) But as we learned from Pornstache’s return last season, it takes a lot to stay fired from Litchfield. Could Fig return? Probably.
One of the more heartbreaking moments of Season Two came when Taystee, under Vee’s vice grip, offered our beloved Nicky (a recovering addict who’s basically traded in her preferred drug for Litchfield cookie) heroin, telling her “the first one is free.” Nicky is able to resist temptation and turns the drugs over to Red. But in the final moments of the finale, Nicky is longingly eyeing some of the heroin she hid from Vee. Can Nicky continue to resist temptation?
Throughout the show’s first season, we learned about Lorna’s obsession with planning her wedding to her beloved Christopher. In Season Two, we found out the relationship was all in her mind. After meeting cute in the post office, Christopher and Lorna had one coffee date and Lorna became obsessed and delusional. She even planted a bomb in Christopher’s actual fianceé’s car. After taking Rosa to her chemo treatment, Lorna breaks into Christopher’s house and he finally comes to visit her in prison, to disastrous results. “She’s a fucking stalker,” he screams while everyone can hear. Will Morello finally be able to move on this season?
Are you excited for Season Three of Orange is the New Black? Talk about it below.
Amy Amatangelo is a Boston-based freelance writer, a member of the Television Critics Association and a regular contributor to Paste. She wasn’t allowed to watch much TV as a child and now her parents have to live with this as her career. You can follow her on Twitter or her blog.