We’re getting close to NFL playoffs time, which means the end of The League for yet another season. Luckily, if this Thanksgiving episode, complete with special guest stars Sarah Silverman and Jeff Goldblum, is any indicator, this season will finish like a well-timed Aaron Rodgers pass. The average TV Thanksgiving dinner includes a fair amount of awkwardness, inappropriate sexual discussion and a good gross-out, but only The League can top it with Helen Keller jokes (still old), actual sexual demonstrations and a healthy dose of (unintentional) animal cruelty.
This episode would probably get a higher rating if the hapless, neurotic Kevin development problem wasn’t still a thing that hasn’t been resolved or somehow made enjoyable to watch. Here, the source of his primal fear is no Bobbum Man or greying hair-down-there, but Ellie’s class guinea pig, a fluffy little rodent named Shakespeare (see end of the previous paragraph). Shakespeare will be staying with Kevin and Jenny over Thanksgiving weekend, and for some reason, the beast scares the bejesus out of Kevin. Characters with weird fears and neuroses are fine, but this is in no way endearing.
The next day, the guys meet for the last pre-Thanksgiving weigh-in of their “fat bet,” where whichever league member loses the most weight and engages in the most physical activity before Thanksgiving Day wins a pair of Bears tickets, and missing a cardio workout means $50 in the pot. Assuming Ruxin will cheat, the guys force him to log his activity with a pedometer, but Ruxin being Ruxin, he’s found a way to game the system—wearing the pedometer on his wrist while he pleasures himself. I guess some people would consider that a workout, so, you know, to each his own.
Anyway, they fall for it, as does Sofia when Ruxin weasels out of Thanksgiving with her family and his, so he thinks he’ll have the house to himself for the holiday weekend. But just as he’s about to settle in to watch porn and check his lineup, his dad—the greatest actor of all time, Jeff Goldblum—shows up. Turns out Ruxin Sr. (first name, Rupert) was looking to do the same thing as Ruxin is doing—shirk off his family and use the empty house as a hotel. Their exchanges are excellent, right down to the similar deliveries and finishing each other’s sentences. Goldblum plays an older version of Ruxin perfectly, with the smug-bastard affectations and gay jokes blending into The League’s bizarre fabric so perfectly.
This episode, we meet some of Andre’s family, too. His sister Heather (Sarah Silverman) shows up, and we find out she (when she was younger and heavier, now svelte from lap-band surgery) taught the guys everything they know about sex—most notably a tactic for cunnilingus explained through a corruption of “here’s the church, here’s the steeple.” Ew, but also effective, and Silverman’s delight in being the instructor is fantastic. Plus, plenty of Andre-bashing, which is usually a good bet.
Taco’s enterprise of the week—another memetic plot/character development device as of late on this show but a decidedly better one than Pathetic Kevin—is to try to get someone to buy an expensive, rare white truffle. He gives Andre some speech about how economics works, and it’s completely off-base, but you can’t help but love the way Taco gets so serious and condescending when talking about business matters.
“Thanksgiving” culminates with the fateful dinner—Andre has lost the most weight, but Ruxin’s games mean he wins for most activity, and he wins the Bears tickets and another thing over which to have a smug sense of superiority. Heather gets Jenny alone and tries to check in with her and make sure Kevin is doing everything she taught him, including “the church” move. There’s a lot of anatomical terminology being thrown around. She then tries to seduce Pete, but in the process, unlocks the guinea pig cage, and Shakespeare’s travels lead him to the consumption of the truffle and a rather unfortunate fate in the oven. The best bit of the dinner though, by far, is a terribly, wonderfully awkward scene in which Jenny introduces sorbet as a palate cleanser, and tries to give Kevin his own “going to church” lesson. Everyone gets involved, watching Kevin attack the spoon is ridiculous, Jeff Goldblum takes it way too far and not only is it entertaining, but it will make you relieved this isn’t what your Thanksgivings look like.
The only thing that was rather surprising for this episode was the serious lack of football talk, which just felt strange considering the close associations with Thanksgiving and football, so you’d assume The League would be watching whatever game what gets played on Turkey Day. The only real reference to the league itself, other than Ruxin debating whether to gratify himself or check his lineup first, was when we discovered Andre’s new team name, the Twilight: Breaking Dawn-dres. Topical! And pretty funny, for what it’s worth. But other than that, all the elements were in place for one of The League’s better episodes as of late, best exemplified by the closing scene and the contortions of Jeff Goldblum’s terrifying orgasm face: it was outrageous, cringe-inducing and yet somehow enrapturing. Except now I might need a palate cleanser.
**Miscellaneous goodness:
**
Ruxin singing to himself, again. Not as good as “crackers and jelly,” but still funny.
“Damn Ruxin, you nasty!”
“Did Andre do your lap band surgery?” “No, I had like a real doctor do it.”
“Seven Minutes in Heather” was snort-worthy.