I recently read an article explaining why the friends we make as kids or teenagers continue to be the most important people in our adult lives. One reason, of course, the intimacy you establish, the comfort you feel in just being around each other. But even more important is the fact that these friends knew you before life happened to you. They know the person you were without the scars you’ve collected and armor you’ve built up around you over the years; they know the real you. The characters on This is Us allow us to establish this kind of bond with them in a similar way by taking us back to their childhoods and allowing us to witness what shaped them into the adults they are today. This week’s episode, “The Pool” thus deepens our understanding of Randall, Kate, and Kevin.
In an effort to make up for his prior lack of support for Rebecca, Jack plans a fun, relaxing day at the pool. To Rebecca, the words “pool,” “kids.” and “relaxing” sound ridiculous together, but Jack assures her it’s going to be great. Besides, it’s the perfect opportunity for Kate to show off her new Care-Bare bikini: Jack makes a show of her as she enters the kitchen, strutting around with confidence, while Rebecca cringes in the background. While it seems as though Jack and Rebecca have found a better dynamic with the kids, they’re still on opposing teams where Kate’s baby-fat is concerned. Jack believes in building her self-esteem and teaching her to rise above other people’s opinions, whereas Rebecca tries to shield her from cruel comments by insisting Kate hide behind a t-shirt. Being a constant topic in the household, Kate is definitely not oblivious to her weight, she doesn’t seem to struggle half as much with it as Rebecca does. When her friends refuse to play with her at the pool because they’re embarrassed by her, however, Kate retreats into her shell. Seeing their daughter sad and frustrated makes Jack and Rebecca realize they can’t shield their kids from the world. That’s a tough one to swallow.
As an adult, Kate continues to define herself by her weight, and when Toby unexpectedly runs into his pretty, skinny ex-wife, all hell breaks loose in her head. She cannot comprehend how Toby could possibly want to be with someone like her after having been with someone so perfect. Kate tortures herself by stalking the ex on Facebook, obsessing over her figure, her skin, her career. As if that wasn’t enough in terms of jealous, downright masochistic behavior, she actually drives to the ex’s workplace and ends up applying for a job in order to confirm what she feels she already knows: This woman is so much better than me. When she admits to her day of stalking, Toby is understandably upset. He can’t wrap his head around the fact she’ll happily believe a stranger who tells her she’s great, but can’t accept that Toby feels the same. The sad truth is, it doesn’t matter how awesome Toby thinks she is until she starts believing it herself. But she can’t let go of comparing herself to others the way she did when her skinny friends—read, bitches—abandoned her at the pool that day.
When you’ve got three kids running wild it doesn’t really matter how well-behaved they might be: There’s always going to be judgement coming from somewhere. But when it’s your own kid calling you out on your lack of interest, it really stings. Kevin seems incapable of getting on with Randall, and while it may have been easy to write him off as a mean kid at first, “The Pool” gives us a better understanding of Kevin’s childhood. All the attention seems to be focused on Kate not eating too much and Randall being the adoptive child. Kevin feels lost in the middle, and a near-drowning experience enhances his feelings. He’s always looking for his parents’ attention—with both positive and negative behavior—but he never seems to get what he craves. This is definitely a trait he has taken into adulthood, and it explains his strong dependence on Kate and his need to impress his estranged brother, Randall.
Judgment seems to be a keyword in this episode; not only are the characters feeling judged by the outside world, they turn their insecurities on themselves and become their own biggest critics. While Randall may have gotten “his own name,” he still feels lost. Growing up in “the whitest neighbourhood” in Pittsburgh, he feels a strong pull toward the African-American community. It’s not only a curiosity, a means to understand who he is and how he fits into this white world of his; he’s also driven by his hope to meet his biological father one day.
Jack and Rebecca give Randall their all, but there are certain things they’ve overlooked, or simply haven’t occurred to them. They’re still unsure about whether he actually needs sunscreen or not (and realize just how ridiculous the thought sounds), and have been oblivious to the fact that his hair needs regular maintenance by a barber who understands afro-textured hair. When Rebecca is called out on this by one of the moms at the pool, she gets defensive, only to realize later that she’s going to need help herself if Randall’s going find his own sense of identity.
In the present, this struggle between two worlds becomes apparent again when William is accused of “loitering” in front of Randall’s house. The neighbourhood’s security is called, and Randall apologizes for the misunderstanding —much to William’s annoyance. William, who once worked for the Urban League, doesn’t believe in apologizing for who he is. And while William never actually says anything to make Randall think he’s criticizing him for his lifestyle and chosen community, he feels judged by his father.
This feeling becomes heightened when his eldest daughter, Tess, is chosen for the role of Snow White in a play at her prestigious school. He feels unnerved by the crowd’s laughter. He raised his daughter not to see anything unusual in her portraying “the fairest of them all,” but upon learning about his dad’s history in activism, he starts questioning how William feels towards him and how he has chosen to raise his daughters. During an honest heart to heart, Randall shares his views and concerns, allowing William the opportunity to tell him he’s proud and he is sorry for having abandoned him as a child.
“The Pool” tackles themes such as self-esteem, judgment, and race with great honesty, and confronts the characters with a choice: to hang on to old habits, beliefs, and attitudes, or to let go of old baggage and focus on lightening their load. One hopes we’ll see them opting for the latter soon.
Roxanne Sancto is a freelance journalist for Paste and The New Heroes & Pioneers. She’s the author of The Tuesday Series & co-author of The Pink Boots. She can usually be found covered in paint stains.